Kanye West got totally pwned by an Ohio policeman

A real cop is calling out Kanye West on some recent claims.

Today, a middle-aged police officer in middle America has won the Internet. Well, IMO, at least. Ohio police chief David Oliver has penned an open letter to Kanye West (on his department’s Facebook page) and, um, it’s fairly epic.

Oliver, incensed by Yeezy’s recent comments in which he compared himself to soldiers and cops (I mean, this is a dude that just likened himself to Nelson Mandela and legitimately thinks he’s some sort of hip-hop holy figure, so, I feel like that’s tame) took to the Internet to let the high-art genius (who may or may not be the second coming of Christ and also Steve Jobs) know exactly how he felt.

In the letter, which is laced with enough snarky vitriol to give Morrissey’s recent (awesome) rant about the British royal family a run for its Internet rage money, Oliver invites Ye to leave the rap game and join the Army because, “I’m sure they would just drop weapons and surrender. You could quite possibly end all wars, just from the enemy being star-struck.”

Here’s the thing, though — that is not a scenario that would seem unreasonable to Kanye West. Kanye West thinks that Kim Kardashian deserves a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Kanye West also thinks that Kim Kardashian is a smart cookie. Kanye West thinks thoughts that other people know to be patently crazy.

Still, the idea of some small town policeman taking on Kanye, even via a Facebook post, really tickles me.

As does the fact that he signed this  post (which has almost 20,000 shares) “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.” EFFING CLASSIC.

No offense to Ben Affleck but this is my favorite Kanye West Interwebz feud since the Jimmy Kimmel Incident. #teamoliver


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
Local

Masked men robbed armored car in Mayfair, police…

Two masked men made off with more than $100,000 this morning after an armored car heist in Northeast Philadelphia, police said.

International

Putin fields question from NSA fugitive Edward Snowden

Edward Snowden, the fugitive former U.S. spy agency contractor who leaked details of intelligence eavesdropping, asked Russian President Vladimir Putin a question on Thursday during…

Local

Teen in 'Jihad Jane' terror case to be…

A judge on Thursday is set to sentence a high school student who pleaded guilty to helping al Qaeda and working with the woman known as "Jihad Jane."

National

Rapper affiliate of Wu-Tang Clan 'cuts off own…

Rapper Andre Johnson, who has performed with New York outfit the Wu-Tang Clan, is in a critical condition after reportedly cutting off his own penis…

The Word

'Mrs. Doubtfire' sequel in the works

Finally, Hollywood is making your dreams come true - they're making that "Mrs. Doubtfire" sequel you've been clamoring for all these years.

The Word

Lawsuit accuses 'X-Men' director Bryan Singer of raping…

A new lawsuit accuses director Bryan Singer of sexual assault against a minor.

Movies

The Cannes Film Festival announces its 2014 lineup

The lineup of the 2014 Cannes Film Festival was announced this morning, promising the latest from a slew of usual (and some unusual) suspects.

Television

‘Survivor: Cagayan’ recap: Episode 8

Sure, it's called Survivor. But this season should really be called 'The Tony Show.'

NBA

Fantasy basketball: Finding next year's NBA studs

Before we put the 2013-14 fantasy basketball season to bed, it’s worth thinking about next year’s breakouts while they’re fresh in our mind.

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April version

NHL

Flyers, Rangers meet in playoffs for 11th time

The Flyers and Rangers will start a new chapter in a historic rivalry.

MLB

MLB Power Rankings: A's are baseball's best, Brewers…

MLB Power Rankings: A's are baseball's best, Brewers and Braves right behind

Parenting

How to parent without gender stereotypes in a…

Christia Spears Brown, Phd. author of "Parenting beyond Pink & Blue" gives advice on raising kids free of gender stereotypes.

Wellbeing

This Week in Health News: breastfed infants trying…

Are breastfed infants trying to prevent mom from having another baby? Theory: The act of breastfeeding not only brings mom and baby closer together –…

Wellbeing

This Week in Health: chocolate may prevent obesity…

Can chocolate prevent obesity and diabetes? Location of study: U.S. Study subjects: Mice Results: The positive health benefits of chocolate have been studied increasingly more…

Wellbeing

Unexplained infertility may be caused by lack of…

Researchers have identified a protein on the egg's surface that interacts with another protein on the surface of sperm, allowing the two cells to join.