‘Scandal’ recap: Season 3, Episode 11: ‘Ride, Sally, Ride’

"And deliver us from evil" — good luck. CREDIT: ABC
“And deliver us from evil” — good luck.
CREDIT: ABC

A demonic possession, a Deep Throat, a kidnapping, and DC’s version of “The Bachelor” — “Scandal” is back! Now we recap.

When last we saw Vice President Sally Langston (Kate Burton), she’d decided not to run against President Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn) after all, on account of needing to grieve for her dead husband, on account of having killed him herself, on account of his being gay. But now she’s changed her mind, and is so concerned about Fitz’s moral corruption, that also she refuses to resign during the campaign.

She’s not concerned about her own moral corruption, however, because she believes she did not actually kill her husband; rather, the devil did, by entering her. No word yet on whether or not the devil has an alibi. But if it is true, we all know that the devil goes after the good guys, so the gay community should consider this a sound endorsement.

Fitz chooses this Nichols guy — his former Lieutenant Governor and the current Governor of California — to be his new running mate, because he values loyalty. His inner circle says this is a bad idea, though, because Nichols is a straight white man. Then again, presumably that means the devil won’t murder him through Sally Langston.

 Will you accept this rose?

The first time we see Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington), she’s with Fitz, and — yes! — they’re making out. She’s his campaign manager now, so hopefully there will be lots of secret-sexy-president time to…oh no: Sally’s dumb campaign manager, Leo, told the press that Liv and Fitz really are having an affair.

To fix the problem, First Lady Mellie Grant (Bellamy Young) takes Liv to lunch, where they smile through gritted teeth for the teeming photographers and reporters, pretending to be Carrie and Samantha on “Sex and the City,” instead of bitter sexual rivals on ABC. Then Mellie hands Liv a menu, inside of which is a different menu: a list of DC bachelors from which Liv can pick. Liv is so taken aback by Mellie’s shrewd plan, that she forgets Samantha would’ve said, “Ooo, I’ll have one of each!”

Anyway, she’s angry with Fitz for installing Captain Jake Ballard (Scott Foley) as Command of secret-CIA-assassin outfit B613, because that job makes people evil, as it did her father. She confronts Fitz about it in his office and he says he had to install someone loyal to him as a protection. Then she says she should resign, because of their love, and she starts to do that breathe-cry thing. So he kisses her hard, saying, “I do not accept your resignation,” which is the hottest open-and-shut sexual-harassment case I’ve ever seen.

But a few moments later, in a moment of frustration, he reveals that the reason he wants her to stay is because he needs to win. Ouch. Call your lawyer, Liv. Or, instead, get DC bachelor Jake Ballard to start dating you, and be photographed kissing him on the Hill. We kind of hope it’s more than just for show.

 Deep Throat

A random reporter starts receiving anonymous text tips from a source — calling him or herself Publius — about  how Sally’s dead husband never had an autopsy. Liv sends Abby and Huck to ask the coroner some questions. The coroner plays dumb, but, of course, Huck hands her a file of incriminating dirt he dug up on her, so she talks: saying that, based on the trauma, it was clearly cardiac arrest.

This doesn’t make any sense, except, then Charlie and Quinn come out of the closet with her son, whom they’d kidnapped on orders from Cyrus Beene (Jeff Perry). This still doesn’t make much sense, except, I’ve been watching “Scandal” long enough not to care. Also, evil-genius Cyrus’s husband, James, is Publius, so I guess he might get whacked. Presumably, the devil will do it.

Also, Fitz is about to have much more to worry about than his nasty morning-whiskey habit: Daddy Pope has vowed revenge. He’s mad about being deposed from his job as Command of B613, and mostly he’s mad about Fitz discussing how his daughter tastes (we’re still upset about it too). He tells Liv that he knows all of Fitz’s secrets and that the White House is going to burn, so she should, “Run. Run Olivia. Because mark my words, Fitzgerald Grant is not going to make it to the end of his term…start grieving now.” At the end of the episode, we see him meeting in darkness with Sally’s dumb campaign manager, Leo, probably about how his daughter tastes.

What else? This Adnan Salif character Harrison’s been so afraid of turns out to be a hot lady, and he did not look scared while they had sex on a desk. Also, the reason Nichols — Fitz’s new running mate — never married is because he’s in love with Mellie. And, actually, now that I think of it, frequently those who gaybash are closeted homosexuals themselves, so I guess we also figured out why the devil hates himself so much.

Episode grade: B+

Follow Jane Borden on Twitter @JaneBorden



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

National

Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Movies

Review: Brett Ratner's big 'Hercules' movie is small…

The latest "Hercules," starring Dwayne Johnson as the half-god beefcake of Greek myth, strips its hero and tale of most of its fantastical elements.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

U.S. Soccer

Orlando City takes shot at NYCFC over Frank…

Orlando City reminded the world how big a signing Brazilian star Kaka earlier this month with a photo of Kaka mobbed by fans juxtaposed against Lampard.

NBA

Jeremy Lin says 'Linsanity' is over as he…

Jeremy Lin lit up the NBA two years ago with his play for the Knicks but he has no desire to recreate "Linsanity" in his new career with the Lakers.

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.