Thanks to Mel Kiper, the NFL Draft brings out the frauds

It's not all smiles at the NFL Draft.

By now, you’ve likely heard of Mel Kiper Jr.’s story. He was a relative nobody. He found his niche in life. He got unbelievably lucky.

Great story and good for him. Even if he constantly gives off that used car salesman odor that transmits through the flatscreen, he is one of a kind.

But of course, with every niche success story, comes the onslaught of ridiculous wannabe’s. For every Todd McShay, there is the 23-year-old blogger who thinks Morris Claiborne’s wing span has tremendous upside and that his length and understated vertical could one day contribute to him getting a finger tip on a pass thrown by Peyton Manning.

While there’s no shame in living in your mom’s basement IN THIS ECONOMY (seriously the best excuse for EVERYTHING of all-time), most of these bloggers could use a different kind of wakeup call.

See, unlike Andy Reid or Bill Belichick or Tom Coughlin or Mike Mularkey, these draft-niks are never called out for being dead wrong on certain players three or four years after the fact. They just keep blogging. They just keep ripping the “dumb” franchises for bad picks. And they just keep acting like their nerdy, wine-spritzer-smelling poop don’t stink.

It’s truly hard to imagine a sporting event that exists, which brings out a bigger crop of total frauds. A look at a few other nominations:

The Olympics
Fraud level: 9.

Go to your local watering hole this summer or just hit up Aunt Gertrude’s lake house and listen to the fraudulent statements fly.

“Michael Phelps is Amazing!!!! He’s the best athlete alive!!!”

Ya? Let’s see him hit a 94 mph fastball. Let’s see him box out Dwight Howard. Let’s see him cover Larry Fitzgerald on a 10-yard-out pattern. Frauds.

The X Games
Fraud level: 6.

I’ll give them this. The X-Games supporters stop preaching after a couple minutes, unlike most Olympics supporters. Sure, it might just be because they just smoked more weed than Tim Lincecum on a ski trip and simply forgot what they were talking about, but they keep their mouths shut after awhile.

Any Major golf tournament
Fraud level: 7.

It’s a time honored tradition that men lie about their golf scores. Nothing wrong with that. But does it get any more annoying than sitting down with your Uncle Jack on Easter Sunday and listening to him fib for four hours about how he shot a 68 at Bethpage Black in 1996?

The Super Bowl
Fraud level: 8.

Do NOT. I repeat, DO NOT go to a Super Bowl party with your girlfriend’s friends from college if your team is in the Big Game. When Tiffany starts asking what “2nd and 9” means late in the third quarter, it’s time to reach for the rubbing alcohol.

Jets fans are the best

This post wasn’t meant to rip all things NFL Draft. In fact, the draft gave us one of the top five YouTube videos of all-time. Use this to get your juices flowing Thursday night or to scare away kids on Halloween:

This just in: Frogs are underrated

No, this frog isn’t nailed to the bench, and no, this video has nothing to do with sports unless you question this particular frog’s ungodly athleticism:

Follow Matt Burke on Twitter: @BurkeMetroBOS


New statue of Penn State's Paterno set for…

By David DeKokHARRISBURG, Pennsylvania (Reuters) - Fundraising for a new statue depicting Joe Paterno "as the man he was and not Joe the football coach"…


On newly released tape, 'Squeaky' Fromme says was…

Manson Family member Squeaky Fromme told a mental health examiner in newly released interview the "X" she carved in her forehead was meant to separate her from "the system."


New York-based Century 21 store coming to The…

The former Strawbridge & Clothier building will once again host a department store. City officials on Thursday announced New York-based Century 21 Department Stores will…


Electric Zoo tickets on sale Tuesday as festival…

Electric Zoo tickets go on sale Tuesday. The festival announced plans to amp up security after two attendees died last year from apparent drug overdoses.


Tribeca: 'Goodbye to All That' star Paul Schneider…

Paul Schneider talks about his new film "Goodbye to All That," not acting too much and how he'd rather indulge in simple pleasures than play the scene.

The Word

Taylor Swift battles paparazzi daily at Tribeca penthouse

We're entranced by these photos of poor Taylor Swift leaving her Tribeca apartment.


Tribeca: Nikki Reed on going funny for a…

"Intramural" star Nikki Reed talks about being the straight person in a broad comedy, spending time in Austin and how "Thirteen" was a "miracle."


Interview: 'The Quiet Ones' star Sam Claflin on…

"Hunger Games" co-star Sam Claflin talks about his new horror film "The Quiet Ones," plus how technology connects him with fans.


The return of Cole Hamels brings optimism

Cole Hamels’ quality start Wednesday was a nice change of pace from his recent season debuts.


Tony Gwynn Jr. a nice surprise for Phillies

Tony Gwynn Jr. has been a plus in every way for the Phillies.


2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24…

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24 version


5 infamous pitcher ejections for cheating

Never fear Yankees fans, Michael Pineda is far from the first MLB pitcher to be thrown out of a game for cheating.


Hai Street Kitchen opening in Rittenhouse May 22

Japanese cuisine will get a Chipotle-style twist at Hai Street Kitchen & Co., a new casual, quick-food restaurant opening near Rittenhouse Square on May 22.…


New study: Inside the wage gap between boys…

According to a new study, there's a wage gap between boys and girls, with boys earning more allowance for less chores.


From Apple TV to Fire TV, big changes…

Apple is set to launch a new generation of it's Apple TV, which grossed over $1 billion in 2013. But competition from Amazon and Google looms.


Katy Perry releases a new Claire’s collection

Katy Perry expands her empire by releasing an accessories collection at Claire's.