Playing the Field: ‘Get Your Jersey On’ and win a date with Lexi Thompson
The New Jersey Devils survived two overtimes and won their first playoff series since 2007 late Thursday night. Congratulations. But, apparently, the team’s ownership doesn’t feel quite as confident about the Devils surviving an onslaught of orange-clad Philadelphia Flyers fans in the next round.
The Devils immediately sent an e-mail to loyal fans begging them to fill the Prudential Center, aka The Rock, for Games 3 and 4. They held an exclusive, one-hour presale jut for Devils fans Friday before opening it up to the general public (read: Philly fans). “We ask that you do not share this presale code with non-Devils fans,” wrote a team official via the popular spots blog, Crossing Broad.
You may remember the Washington Nationals tried a similar pre-emptive “Take Back the Park” strike to keep Phillies fans out of their ballpark. That game is coming up (May 4-6), so we don’t know if it worked, but sources have told us several Philly tailgaters scored tickets and are planning to invade (via buses, campers, Amtrak) our Nation’s Capital en masse.
Anyway, back to Jersey, where they conclude this ode to fans by proclaiming: “Get Your Jersey On for the Eastern Conference Semifinals!”
Please take that literally, Flyers and Devils fans. We look forward to a fight breaking out at the Molly Pitcher rest stop between Eric Lindros and Scott Stevens.
Honesty is the best policy
The NFL Draft went down seemingly uneventful Thursday night. Yes, there were a crazy eight – yes, Mel Kiper, eight! – trades during the first round … but the picks went straight chalk: Luck, RG3, Richardson, Kalil, Blackmon, Claiborne.
We’ll stop at the last one because the kid from Alabama is our new hero. Claiborne, who was drafted by the Cowboys, reportedly scored a 4 on the mythical Wonderlic test. (We’re not positive, but we think that’s akin to getting your name right — and nothing else — on the SAT.) If true, it was the lowest score posted in 12 years.
So Claiborne did what any 22-year-old about to become a millionaire would do, he laughed in everyone’s face and admitted he didn’t care.
“I mean, I looked on the test and wasn’t nothing on the test that came with football, so I pretty much blew the test off,” Claiborne said. “I didn’t see no point in the test. I’m not in school anymore. I didn’t complete it.”
This is the most accurate admission since Doc told Marty McFly that “where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” Claiborne is a football player and there’s no reason to bog that playbook with a high IQ.
Have golf club, need prom date
Secret Service agents are being busted for soliciting prostitutes overseas. Back here in the States, girls are throwing themselves at eligible patriots.
Take rising golf star Lexi Thompson. The soon-to-be LPGA Tour member just recently turned 17 and has already been a professional for two years. At 12, she became the youngest to ever qualify for the U.S. Women’s Open. She could seemingly have any guy in her homeroom, yet she has taken to YouTube to find a prom date. Only stipulation: You must be in the U.S. military and be between the ages of 18-20.
We wish Lexi the best in her search. In fact, this could be a match made in heaven. Think about it: Lexi’s obviously good around a sand trap, so maybe she could help snuff out terrorists with her new beau. Or maybe he’ll trade his stripes in for a sweet gig as a trophy husband.
Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen this type of thing. Just a few weeks ago, Kentucky basketball player Eloy Vargas escorted a young fan to her prom. She was also 17. All indications are that no nets were cut down.