NFL season predictions … sure to go wrong

Finally Mark Sanchez scored a touchdown. Just not on the field.

Winners:

Super Bowl picks?

Answer: Packers over Ravens
By: Mark Osborne, Metro New York sports editor
Confidence level: We’d bet it with our money
Green Bay definitely has something to prove after a choke job in the NFC?divisional round last year to the Giants. There’s no reason to think they won’t be right back in the same position this season … and finish.

Answer: Patriots over Saints
By: Mike Greger, Metro Philadelphia sports editor
Confidence level: We’d bet it with our money
Drew Brees is on a mission in the aftermath of Bountygate, but he’ll fall one drive short — on his home turf — against Tom Brady and the NFL’s most prolific offense. The Pats are too loaded.

Answer: Patriots over Bears
By: Matt Burke, Metro Boston sports editor
Confidence level: We’d bet it with our money
Homer pick. But have you seen the Pats’ schedule? It’s the easiest in the NFL. Chicago pops up as an elite NFC team every other year, it seems. Here’s saying Brandon Marshall has a huge 2012.

Losers

Will the Dolphins finish with the worst record?

Answer: Yes.
Confidence level: We’d bet it with your money
You’d have to be as smart as Ryan Tannehill to pick the Dolphins to have a successful season. They’ve basically forfeited the year (bye, Vontae Davis) to rebuild for 2013. And they’re going to get a nice pick to start off. Better start scouting who else has a hot wife.

Which QB?will be Arizona’s top pick in ’13?
Answer: Matt Barkley
Confidence level: We’d bet it with our money
Who ya got??Kevin Kolb??John Skelton? A Juggs machine pointed at Larry Fitzgerald each snap? We know they’re going to take a QB?next year. Why not take USC’s Matt Barkley? He is the most logical choice.

New faces

Who will be Offensive Rookie of the Year?

Answer: Andrew Luck (Ind.)
Confidence level: We’d bet it with our money
It’s hard to pick against the current and future savior of Indianapolis on this one. To be fair, he looked really good in the preseason. Robert Griffin III is going to struggle big time, by the way. The defensive lines in the NFC?East will have him limping off the field.

Who will be Defensive Rookie of the Year?

Answer: Mark Barron (TB)
Confidence level: Fat chance
Granted Nick Saban and Alabama have already replaced him with someone better, but Barron is a great safety. He’ll be allowed to freelance in the secondary and will definitely come up with a bunch of picks.

Will the real officials ever come back?
Answer: Yes.?Money. Yes.
Confidence level: We’d bet it with our money
The first few weeks will probably be ugly with scab officials. But don’t worry, the real officials will be ready to make different, equally puzzling mistakes once they settle in a few weeks. Give the poor guys a raise, Roger!

Relationships

Bigger disaster: Longoria-Sanchez or Tebow-Sanchez?
Answer: Tebow-Sanchez
Confidence level: We’d bet it with your money
This one is very close, mainly because we see both relationships going up in flames within a few months. Now if only we could get Eva Longoria to dump Mark Sanchez for Tim Tebow. It’s almost too totally awesome to comprehend.

Off the field

After a year off, is Brett Favre really retired?
Answer: Yes! Finally!
Confidence level: Fat chance
Our long national nightmare is over. Hopefully. Unless Brett Favre pulls a Roger Clemens and decides to play for an Arena Football League team “just for fun” and then decides to join the Cardinals. Damn. That’s totally going to happen, isn’t it?

Better fast-food clerk: T.O. or Ochocinco?
Answer: Chad Johnson
Confidence level: We’d bet it with your money
You have to make money somehow. There’s nothing wrong with ending your career working at a McDonald’s drive-thru. We already know neither of these guys is good at listening to orders though.


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