This year and, well, every year for the past few years or so, we’ve had two opening days of football.
 
Tonight will be our appetizer, when the Giants host the Cowboys. Then we have to wait four whole days for the Sunday feast.
 
Part of the fun of these two days (and frankly, it’s pretty far down the list), is getting to see the new batch of football-related commercials that the networks will bludgeon us with over the next 21 weeks. Here’s one, featuring Tom Brady, that will undoubtedly be old hat by the time the 4:25 games start this Sunday:

Simple. Not that effective. In fact, not memorable at all. Hopefully one of these billion dollar companies steps up its game this year.

Southwest airlines used to be pretty damn good. They would trot out new ones each and every week and would get, at least, a wry smirk out of the majority of its cynical football audience.

There are, of course, more of these commercials that stick with you for different (annoying) reasons.

2011 was the year of the squealing pig (unbelievably annoying). What I would give for the pig version of Suge Knight to pull up next to that SUV.

2007 was the year of the “1,2,3,4″ iPod spot. Still convinced that there are highly illegal subliminal messages in this commercial considering I still remember this one five years later and am strangely nostalgic for it. “Ohhhhh, I love technolo-gy.”

2006 was the year of Peyton Manning’s mustache and laser, rocket arm.

2004 was the year of “cut that meat,” which Patriots fans taunted Manning with when he was covered in mud and throwing picks left and right in the AFC Championship Game a few years back. In fairness to Manning, he does have Brady beat in the commercial department in terms of raw ability and charisma (he was also a much better SNL host).

Chad Johnson, more depressing by the day

What would Chad Johnson give to be back in Foxboro, Mass. today, pulling up to a lonely Route 1 McDonald’s and ordering two sausage breakfast burritos (surprisingly good, actually) and an orange juice?

Just one year ago, Johnson was about to embark on the worst on-field season of his NFL career with the Patriots. That’s a hell of a lot better than his current situation. Today, he is unemployed and has a tattoo of a gold digging diva on his leg (wife Evelyn Lozada).

That’s according to TMZ, which dug up this picture: