Marriage is hard work — even if you’re married

Marriage is hard work and takes a lot of compromise, as Ben Affleck awkwardly acknowledged in his acceptance speech at the Oscars. Jason Merritt / Getty
Marriage is hard work and takes a lot of compromise, as Ben Affleck awkwardly acknowledged in his acceptance speech at the Oscars. Jason Merritt / Getty

When Ben Affleck accepted the Oscar for Best Picture, he thanked his wife Jennifer Garner and said that marriage is hard work, but it is the best kind of work. He’s right — it takes great effort to find the balance between each person’s needs and desires. Say football is your thing — it always has been, ever since you were a little kid watching at home with your dad. It’s hard for you to understand why your new partner has no interest in it. You want to go to games together, talk about plays and plan weekends around the tailgate parties. If the answer is “no,” what do you do? Ask for a compromise.

One couple I worked with had a basic problem: She wanted to stick to low-key staples like pizza and hot dogs, while he wanted to wine and dine on fancy, gourmet meals.  The difference in their tastes was a source of constant bickering and resentment in their relationship.

Compromising is key in any relationship, even if — as Ben Affleck pointed out rather awkwardly  — it takes work. In your relationship, you have to find a balance between your own pleasures and the things you love while respecting the things your partner is into, as well.  Is there a way to include your significant other but not force-feed them?

This is where a little bit can really go a long way. You remember when you were a child and your mother wanted you to eat broccoli, right? It looked awful, but you had to have some to appease her, so you took a small bite. With that taste, you showed her you respected her wishes enough to open your mind a little bit.

The same thing holds true in your relationship. Acknowledge to your partner that you understand and accept that football or pizza is not his or her cup of tea. When the playoffs roll around or a special event comes up, say that his or her company is important to you. Be clear that you know it is a sacrifice, but that a small portion — one game, or one slice of pizza — would mean a lot.

Doing this means you can share your passions and interests while respecting your partner’s desires. The key is to encourage them to be open and try to appreciate what it is that you find so fascinating. Who knows, your partner just might like it. Sharing pleasures and being open to each other helps to turn the wheels for more mutual passion. Doesn’t sound like such hard work, does it?


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

New statue of Penn State's Paterno set for…

By David DeKokHARRISBURG, Pennsylvania (Reuters) - Fundraising for a new statue depicting Joe Paterno "as the man he was and not Joe the football coach"…

National

On newly released tape, 'Squeaky' Fromme says was…

Manson Family member Squeaky Fromme told a mental health examiner in newly released interview the "X" she carved in her forehead was meant to separate her from "the system."

Local

New York-based Century 21 store coming to The…

The former Strawbridge & Clothier building will once again host a department store. City officials on Thursday announced New York-based Century 21 Department Stores will…

National

Electric Zoo tickets on sale Tuesday as festival…

Electric Zoo tickets go on sale Tuesday. The festival announced plans to amp up security after two attendees died last year from apparent drug overdoses.

Music

Championship of Collegiate a Cappella: Students who are…

Tickets to this Saturday’s International Championship of Collegiate a Cappella reportedly sold out within 11 hours of going on sale.

Music

M.I.A. talks 'Matangi,' divinity, spontaneity and holograms

"There’s pressure for me to become a theatrical production like 'Glee,' or something" says M.I.A., "It’s like, 'the pressure’s on, bitches.'"

Movies

Tribeca: 'Goodbye to All That' star Paul Schneider…

Paul Schneider talks about his new film "Goodbye to All That," not acting too much and how he'd rather indulge in simple pleasures than play the scene.

The Word

Taylor Swift battles paparazzi daily at Tribeca penthouse

We're entranced by these photos of poor Taylor Swift leaving her Tribeca apartment.

NBA

Jason Collins named to Time's 100 Most Influential…

Jason Collins was named to the list after coming out as the first openly gay player to appear in an NBA game.

MLB

The return of Cole Hamels brings optimism

Cole Hamels’ quality start Wednesday was a nice change of pace from his recent season debuts.

MLB

Tony Gwynn Jr. a nice surprise for Phillies

Tony Gwynn Jr. has been a plus in every way for the Phillies.

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24…

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24 version

Food

Hai Street Kitchen opening in Rittenhouse May 22

Japanese cuisine will get a Chipotle-style twist at Hai Street Kitchen & Co., a new casual, quick-food restaurant opening near Rittenhouse Square on May 22.…

Parenting

New study: Inside the wage gap between boys…

According to a new study, there's a wage gap between boys and girls, with boys earning more allowance for less chores.

Tech

From Apple TV to Fire TV, big changes…

Apple is set to launch a new generation of it's Apple TV, which grossed over $1 billion in 2013. But competition from Amazon and Google looms.

Style

Katy Perry releases a new Claire’s collection

Katy Perry expands her empire by releasing an accessories collection at Claire's.