The Word: Lindsay Lohan is nothing like the real Liz Taylor

Lohan at the premiere of “Liz & Dick”
Jeffrey Mayer/Getty Images

With all the divorces, marriages and arrests I report on, being a gossip columnist can sometimes feel like being in “Groundhog’s Day” — and Lindsay Lohan is my Ned Ryerson.

Yes, the troubled starlet was arrested yet again for punching another woman at a New York City nightclub around 4 a.m. on Thursday morning. Lohan apparently was “partying hard” at the club, called Avenue, and was “looking for trouble,” a source tells RadarOnline. That trouble manifested itself through a clubgoer named Tiffany Eve Mitchell. Apparently, Mitchell asked Lohan for a photograph. Lohan, who was “drinking heavily and doing cocaine,” said no and was “really rude about it.” Mitchell kept dancing but Lohan wouldn’t let this infraction go. Again, from another eye-witness: “She totally sucker-punched that girl in the face out of nowhere! Nobody saw it coming,” RadarOnline.com reports. “Lindsay went wild. She was kicking and screaming, cursing at the girl and then spit at her. The girl looked like she wanted to fight back at Lindsay, but was too startled by all the commotion to react.”

So, the cops were called. Lohan was spotted attempting to leave the club, hopping into the passenger seat of her car before cops pulled her out and arrested her. Lohan was heard yelling, “Are you kidding me?” as she was led away, a source says. She was released four hours later and given a citation and a court date. Being a refined wordsmith, I’m not good at math, but by my calculation that is probably her one millionth court appointment to date.

Remember when we learned that Lohan was cast as Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime Original Movie “Liz & Dick” and everyone was like: “Oh, I can kinda see it?” After all, both are former child stars and Taylor, like Lohan, had to live her life under the glare of the paparazzi. But Taylor would never spend her time in a trashy nightclub sucker-punching various members of the Bridge and Tunnel set. No, she would spend her evenings with Bubbles the chimp or hanging out at various high-stakes poker clubs, willing to give up her diamond earrings as a bet while she purred, “These always brought me luck.” Only really bad, awful trashy people spit on one another in nightclubs. Lohan, please stop. Like Bill Murray, I’m going to start walking off buildings because I just can’t take it anymore.


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