The Broad Experience: Negotiating While Female

 

Ashley Milne-Tyte says women need to stick to their guns while being polite when negotiating a raise.
Ashley Milne-Tyte says women need to stick to their guns while being polite when negotiating a raise.

How often do you negotiate a raise? If you’re female, the answer is quite likely to be not often, or even never. My first time came about 12 years ago. I was in my 20s and about to switch roles within a company. My co-worker told me I should shoot for a number that constituted a 25 percent raise. It seemed like a huge amount and I found it horribly awkward to discuss money — let alone think I was actually worth something. I squirmed at the thought. But during the interview, I summoned up the courage to make the ask. My supervisor acted surprised, which made me uncomfortable, but I managed to resist backing down.

He muttered that it was a very large raise and I was unlikely to receive that much. Still, he said he’d see what he could do.

I got it.

That was my first lesson in negotiating. Just ask — they can always say no. In almost every study done on negotiating, women simply don’t ask for raises as frequently as men do. It’s one of the many reasons for the gender pay gap. Of course, I know men who hate negotiating as much as I do (I never said it was fun) and women who consider it a point of pride to fight fiercely for what they’re worth. But in general, women face particular challenges when it comes to asking for what we want.

Society still views women as nice and accommodating. Asking for more money doesn’t fit that picture. So we have to be careful how we do it to avoid turning people off. But if you don’t ask, you have no idea what you could get. You could be turned down, but isn’t it better to find out by asking in the first place?

Do’s and Don’ts:

DO your research first. There’s a ton of it out there. I recommend Shenegotiates.com and the book “Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Want” by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever.

DON’T immediately back down if your boss balks at your request. This is all part of the game.

DO remain pleasant and polite throughout. Research shows women can get more from negotiating if they keep playing nice while sticking firmly to their guns.

DON’T say things like “because I deserve it.” It gets interviewers and managers all hot under the collar because it goes against gender norms for women.

Ashley Milne-Tyte is a radio producer and reporter based in New York City. She hosts a bi-monthly podcast called “The Broad Experience” about women in the workplace.

TBE_FinalBanner-01


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

Local

Oval oasis: Summer of fun kicks off this…

A bold partnership between the Fairmount Park Conservancy and the city's Parks and Recreation Department is kicking off this weekend with family activities re-activating this unused public space.

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

MLB

Jimmy Rollins is key to Phillies success

When John Kruk was asked about what the Phillies need to contend for a playoff berth, the ESPN analyst said Jimmy Rollins needs to play like a MVP again.

MLB

Ben Revere lifts Phillies to avoid sweep

Ben Revere came through with a two-out RBI single against Atlanta’s tough lefthander Alex Wood.

NBA

Season wrap: 76ers make the grade

The 76ers opened the 2013-14 season with a victory over the Miami Heat. The Sixers closed the season with a win at Miami.

NBA

Fantasy basketball: Finding next year's NBA studs

Before we put the 2013-14 fantasy basketball season to bed, it’s worth thinking about next year’s breakouts while they’re fresh in our mind.

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.