Revel in grassy kitsch with these awesomely odd lawn ornaments
When it comes to lawn ornaments, gurgling fountains, stone lions and garden gnomes are pretty standard – but hardly the tacky channel through which to show off your sense of style or sense of humor. So we tracked down some creative, wacky and just plain weird options that will put some actual personality on your parcel. From scary sculptures to bizarre robots to, well, garden gnomes (but with a twist!) they prove the grass is greener on the other, odder side.
Warring with a neighbor over property lines? Forget building a fence. Show the Joneses you mean business by filling your battlefield (uh, lawn) with Combat Gnomes (above) from artist Shawn Thorsson. His nearly foot-tall sculptures wield bayonets, grenades, rocket launchers and other artillery that strikes fear into the hearts of squirrels. Buy: etsy.com/shop/thorssoli.
Moles burrowing under your lawn create an eyesore. But with The Dweller Below, artist Liam Manchester has created an (awesomely creepy) eye-catcher: a mysterious lurker popping up from your grass as if through a manhole. It’s available through Design Toscano, which seems to have a market cornered on out-there garden ornaments like aliens and Bigfoot.
You don’t need to live on Elm Street to give your neighbor Garden Nightmares. That’s the lawn line from the twisted minds at Ontario-based RevenantFX, based on cinematic psychos like razor-clawed Freddy Krueger, hockey mask model Jason Voorhees and Halloween stalker Michael Myers. Note: now is not a good time to investigate the strange noise outside.
No, you’re not stoned. UK-based company Vivid Arts actually has a line of Non-Sense Ornaments, resin rocks featuring random body parts peeking through a “zipper”: a sniffing nose, grinning teeth, pouting lips and glaring eyes, to name a few. Thankfully, all the unzipped anatomy is from above the waistline.
Flamingos. The ubiquitous pink birds pop up like crabgrass, but are only acceptable ornaments in Florida retirement communities. (Yes we’re talking to you, ironic hipsters.) A Zombie Flamingo on the other hand, is a more creative pick. Trading plush feathers for a stripped-bare skeleton, it’s lawn decor straight out of The Flocking Dead.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the lawn, sculptor Martin Pool is offering a menagerie of animal-inspired, low-lying ornaments like this Killer Whale Fin (which makes us hear the Jaws theme, even if it’s based on Shamu.) Other options include hippos and crocodiles playing peek-a-boo through the grass.
Wish you could enjoy some four-seasons skiing? Take it up with Mother Nature. The best we can do is this adorably weird Ski-Bot, slaloming on rulers and wielding metal screws as poles in its wrench hands. Colorado artist Fred Conlon creates a huge variety of fantastical figures using recycled metal scraps and junkyard finds.
Behold! What mysterious peoples planted these heads on your lawn? For what purpose and to what end? How were ornaments of such massive size moved by early settlers of the cul-de-sac? These are the questions National Geographic readers will ask upon scoping your Mega Easter Island Head, a replica of the famously enigmatic South Pacific statues.
A garden is supposed to be a pleasant place for relaxation, introspection and centering your — UGH! What’s with these mosquitoes? (Slap!) If you need a little help finding inner peace outdoors, invest in Zen Creations, Buddha-like busts of assorted animals: robed, meditating cats, dogs, frogs and bunnies, oh my!