Advice for runners and rabbits alike

Anything to prevent an injury or set a personal record.  Illustration by Jim Carroll
Anything to prevent an injury or set a personal record.
Illustration by Jim Carroll

“Don’t go out fast”: that was the first piece of advice I got in kindergarten coming in the form of the classic story book “The Tortoise and the Hare,” along with “never eat paste,” which on drunken occasions, I’ve forgotten.

“Don’t go out fast” is also the advice I get from every level of runner. It’s the most common piece of advice in the running community, the go-to when someone can’t think of something else to say. It’s important advice, like “don’t go out in the sun without sunscreen” and “don’t wear bacon-scented underwear around German Shepherds” — advice that I have forgotten and have later regretted.

Advice on running comes from many sources, from websites (550,000,000 results for keywords: running tips), to books (three shelves at Barnes & Noble) to other runners (millions worldwide), to Keith (my ‘know-it-all’ uncle). And the two main themes seem to be preventing injuries and increasing speed.

As a new runner, I’m quick to believe anything that may prevent an injury or increase my speed. I’m very impressionable and not afraid to drink the Kool-Aid. Hell, I’d bath in it. If someone told me that wearing a banana suit would shave two minutes off my marathon time, I’d be at the banana suit store tomorrow.

There is also advice on topics like stretching, from when (after a run, but not before) to how. My marathon coach, Brian, has suggested dynamic stretching after long runs, which I now do religiously (may I have more Kool-Aid, please?). It makes me look like I’m doing yoga in the park, which is somewhat embarrassing. These dynamic stretches are designed to increase joint dexterity and blood flow along with public humiliation.

Another runner friend of mine — let’s call him Alan, because his name is Alan — saw my recent blog post concerning my painful Achilles tendons and suggested that I soak my feet in buckets of ice water to stave off injuries and increase healing. It’s so cold that it causes severe pain, which helped me find a whole new octave in my expanding repertoire of screeches. Another runner I met on a group run suggested a quick breathing exercise to relieve side stitches, which she was suffering from at the time. I found myself doing the breathing along with her even though I had no stitch (does this Kool-Aid taste funny to you?). Looking less like a runner and more like a Lamaze coach, I managed to get the technique down in just a few strides.

The other piece of advice I often hear from runners is to have fun — something I hope to remember at mile 22 , along with “don’t eat paste.”



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

National

Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Movies

Review: Brett Ratner's big 'Hercules' movie is small…

The latest "Hercules," starring Dwayne Johnson as the half-god beefcake of Greek myth, strips its hero and tale of most of its fantastical elements.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

U.S. Soccer

Orlando City takes shot at NYCFC over Frank…

Orlando City reminded the world how big a signing Brazilian star Kaka earlier this month with a photo of Kaka mobbed by fans juxtaposed against Lampard.

NBA

Jeremy Lin says 'Linsanity' is over as he…

Jeremy Lin lit up the NBA two years ago with his play for the Knicks but he has no desire to recreate "Linsanity" in his new career with the Lakers.

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.

Comments

1