When should you reconsider the date who made a terrible first impression?

“Let me back in!”

People are always looking for instant love and romance. Take the new dating show that is set to premiere on Fox in early June called “The Choice,” on which celebrity contestants will try to find their match in three quick rounds. That’s a lot of judging and decision-making in a short amount of time. What if a celebrity makes the wrong fast choice and sends the possible love of his or her life away? And you don’t have to be on television to make that mistake. In the real world, how can you know when to give someone a second chance?

So often after a mediocre first date people dismiss any possibility of a future with someone. He or she wasn’t at all what you’d hoped: He spent most of the evening talking about his work, or she complained about her friends. And what about the clear lack of chemistry between you? You sat across the table, waiting to be released, figuring that you would never have to see that person again.

Might you be quashing the opportunity to become involved with someone who could actually be a partner with potential? Consider this: You have high hopes for a new restaurant and you can’t wait to try their halibut. But the place is much more crowded than you expected, and your fish is burnt. Your first thought is that you will never go back. But there are many possible things at play: Maybe the chef was off that night, or maybe they had opening-month jitters. You may have an entirely different experience on a second visit.

Along the same lines, it is hard to know if you will really like someone based on that first awkward meeting. You want there to be fireworks the minute you sit down. But chemistry is really a magic potion of many things that can’t always be created during that first date. He or she might be shy and nervous, and, because of that, be inhibited and not act like himself or herself.

There are definitely times when you don’t go for round two. Some examples include if your date is sloppy, or he or she spends the evening talking about the other women or men in the restaurant. But when it isn’t so clear, if you can open your mind and let your expectations go, you might discover something you really like about the person that can take you to a great second date with room to continue.

 I wonder if there will be a second-chance round in Fox’s new show. Without it, will the decisions be the right ones? We might never know.

– Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer is creator of “Shrink Wrap” – national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships – and host of “Let’s Talk Sex” at Healthylife.net. Her book, “What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship,” is available nationwide.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages.


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

New statue of Penn State's Paterno set for…

By David DeKokHARRISBURG, Pennsylvania (Reuters) - Fundraising for a new statue depicting Joe Paterno "as the man he was and not Joe the football coach"…

National

On newly released tape, 'Squeaky' Fromme says was…

Manson Family member Squeaky Fromme told a mental health examiner in newly released interview the "X" she carved in her forehead was meant to separate her from "the system."

Local

New York-based Century 21 store coming to The…

The former Strawbridge & Clothier building will once again host a department store. City officials on Thursday announced New York-based Century 21 Department Stores will…

National

Electric Zoo tickets on sale Tuesday as festival…

Electric Zoo tickets go on sale Tuesday. The festival announced plans to amp up security after two attendees died last year from apparent drug overdoses.

Music

Championship of Collegiate a Cappella: Students who are…

Tickets to this Saturday’s International Championship of Collegiate a Cappella reportedly sold out within 11 hours of going on sale.

Music

M.I.A. talks 'Matangi,' divinity, spontaneity and holograms

"There’s pressure for me to become a theatrical production like 'Glee,' or something" says M.I.A., "It’s like, 'the pressure’s on, bitches.'"

Movies

Tribeca: 'Goodbye to All That' star Paul Schneider…

Paul Schneider talks about his new film "Goodbye to All That," not acting too much and how he'd rather indulge in simple pleasures than play the scene.

The Word

Taylor Swift battles paparazzi daily at Tribeca penthouse

We're entranced by these photos of poor Taylor Swift leaving her Tribeca apartment.

NBA

Jason Collins named to Time's 100 Most Influential…

Jason Collins was named to the list after coming out as the first openly gay player to appear in an NBA game.

MLB

The return of Cole Hamels brings optimism

Cole Hamels’ quality start Wednesday was a nice change of pace from his recent season debuts.

MLB

Tony Gwynn Jr. a nice surprise for Phillies

Tony Gwynn Jr. has been a plus in every way for the Phillies.

NFL

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24…

2014 NFL Mock Draft: Updated, new April 24 version

Food

Hai Street Kitchen opening in Rittenhouse May 22

Japanese cuisine will get a Chipotle-style twist at Hai Street Kitchen & Co., a new casual, quick-food restaurant opening near Rittenhouse Square on May 22.…

Parenting

New study: Inside the wage gap between boys…

According to a new study, there's a wage gap between boys and girls, with boys earning more allowance for less chores.

Tech

From Apple TV to Fire TV, big changes…

Apple is set to launch a new generation of it's Apple TV, which grossed over $1 billion in 2013. But competition from Amazon and Google looms.

Style

Katy Perry releases a new Claire’s collection

Katy Perry expands her empire by releasing an accessories collection at Claire's.