Playing the Field: Sex.com approaches Kobe Bryant, Eagles approach Paris Jackson

Sex.com wants to see Kobe Bryant dunk against LeBron James.
Sex.com wants to see Kobe Bryant dunk against LeBron James.

To be quite honest, when I first heard the name “Kobe” and “porn” in the same phrase I was thinking about things much more sinister than dunk contests.

Ya know, cause after you’re charged with rape all bets are off when it comes to public sex stipulations.

But Kobe and the NBA have done such a masterful job of rehabbing his image (the 10-year plan most certainly worked) after the Lakers superstar bawled his eyes out for the world to see in a July 2003 press conference, that most people in today’s society don’t even remember the incident.

It seems suits at Sex.com (do porn sites actually have high ranking execs, and do they actually have offices and wear actual ties and stuff to work?), have forgotten about what did or did not happen in Eagle, Colo. a decade ago as they offered Kobe $5 million to participate in a dunk contest with LeBron James. Yup, Magic Johnson and Sex.com are here to save the NBA slam dunk contest by throwing gobs of money at the game’s most famous stars.

Kobe, of course, should do it – if for no other reason than to send David Stern into a “Jordan gambling at 4 a.m. in Atlantic City” – like tantrum. The same way Rob Gronkowski should hook up with everyone’s favorite girl next floor, Bibi Jones, in exchange for $3 million (also a Sex.com project) just to wrinkle the feathers of Lord Goodell.

One of these days, one of these famous athletes is going to break the porn barrier. You can bet ESPN is already scrambling on how to handle it.

Bad idea genes
So Paris Jackson, the 14-year-old daughter of the late Michael Jackson, is a cheerleader today for some high school out in LA.

In turn, Philadelphia Eagles cheerleading guru/publicity hound Barbara Zaun jumped at the chance to get her name on TMZ by saying that Paris would “make a great Eagles cheerleader!”

Uh, actually I can think of about, oh, say, 31 other NFL cities that would be a better landing spot for Ms. Jackson. Do we really think Eagles fans would treat the emotionally fragile daughter of the most famous dead, multi-colored, formerly emotionally fragile pop singer in the history of the world with class and dignity? I’m sure there would be zero child molestation jokes reigning down on young Paris from guys 10 whiskey-sodas deep at Lincoln Financial Field.

Plus, warm-weathered LA is going to have an NFL team by the time Paris is 18 and her aunt Janet already has the NFL halftime show deal flat-out conquered. Calm down Barbara Zaun.

Follow Metro Boston sports editor and columnist Matt Burke on Twitter @BurkeMetroBOS


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

Local

Oval oasis: Summer of fun kicks off this…

A bold partnership between the Fairmount Park Conservancy and the city's Parks and Recreation Department is kicking off this weekend with family activities re-activating this unused public space.

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

MLB

Jimmy Rollins is key to Phillies success

When John Kruk was asked about what the Phillies need to contend for a playoff berth, the ESPN analyst said Jimmy Rollins needs to play like a MVP again.

MLB

Ben Revere lifts Phillies to avoid sweep

Ben Revere came through with a two-out RBI single against Atlanta’s tough lefthander Alex Wood.

NBA

Season wrap: 76ers make the grade

The 76ers opened the 2013-14 season with a victory over the Miami Heat. The Sixers closed the season with a win at Miami.

NBA

Fantasy basketball: Finding next year's NBA studs

Before we put the 2013-14 fantasy basketball season to bed, it’s worth thinking about next year’s breakouts while they’re fresh in our mind.

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.