Playing the Field: The Chicago Bulls’ plot to overthrow Kim Jong-un

kukoc_100614
Toni Kukoc and Kim Jong-un go way back … to the ’90s!

 

That’s it. I’m convinced.

The 1997-98 Chicago Bulls are going to overthrow Kim Jong-un and take over North Korea within the next five months. (For the record: Jordan as president, Pippen as VP, Luc Longley as CIA head and Joe Kleine as speaker of the house.)

Two weeks ago Dennis Rodman was “touring” the People’s Republic with the Harlem Globetrotters (wow, that’s still fun to write) and now we learn that a young Kim Jong-un took a photograph with former Bulls small forward Toni Kukoc years ago. Kukoc seemed VERY defensive when asked about the photo (likely taken in France in the ’90s when the Bulls were touring there in the preseason).

“It’s Paris, the McDonald’s tournament, we’re world champions,” Kukoc told ESPNChicago.com. “Every place you went, people were trying to take pictures. What am I supposed to say? I don’t really know what to say. I don’t remember what I had for lunch today and I can remember that? It ended up a crazy thing.

“I consider myself pretty well-traveled but I don’t know at least 50 percent of the countries and I’m supposed to know some kid who (was going to) take over his dad’s dictatorship?” Kukoc said. “I don’t think if there were seven bodyguards around him with guns I wouldn’t have noticed.” 

It’s pretty obvious by now that the ’98 Bulls are just roping in Kim Jong-un (Rodman saying he’s his friend) and the U.S. media (Kukoc’s deny, deny, deny strategy) while this whole time there’s an “Argo”-like plot (or at least an episode of “Looney Tunes” when Bugs Bunny dresses up as the hot girl rabbit) being hatched.

We can now all expect a title like “Penetra-Bull: How a former basketball dynasty invaded and overthrew a Stalinist dictatorship” to win motion picture of the year in 2039.

Sapp fatigued with Patriots talk

Speaking of Stalinist dictatorships, Bill Belichick’s name was being tossed about on NFL Network Tuesday night as former Patriots GM Scott Pioli sat down with NFL Red Zone spaz Scott Hanson. Warren Sapp had no idea his microphone was on when he said this over the NFL Net airwaves:

“It’s the same f—ing spew we had (Mike) Lombardi doing,” Sapp whispered in the creepiest way possible. “The f—ing Bill Belichick f—ing angle.”

Matt Burke is sports editor and a columnist at Metro Boston. Follow him on Twitter: @BurkeMetroBOS


News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Florida man charged with murdering son to play…

A Florida man annoyed that his 16-month-old crying son was preventing him from playing video games suffocated the toddler, police said on Friday.

International

Powerful 7.2 magnitude earthquake rattles Mexico

A powerful earthquake struck Mexico Friday, shaking buildings and sending people running into the street, although there were no reports of major damage.

News

OMG! Exercise can make skin (and butt) look…

A moderate exercise regime can turn back time and actually reverse the skin's aging process, according to new research. The study showed that a minimum…

Local

Oval oasis: Summer of fun kicks off this…

A bold partnership between the Fairmount Park Conservancy and the city's Parks and Recreation Department is kicking off this weekend with family activities re-activating this unused public space.

Entertainment

Whoopi Goldberg makes her debut as marijuana columnist

"It helps my head stop hurting, and with glaucoma your eyes ache, and she takes the ache out. It's wonderful," she said.

The Word

Kate Middleton made fun of Prince William's bald…

Kate Middleton and Prince William are in Sydney, Australia, right now, and it sounds like that brash Aussie sense of humor might be rubbing off.

The Word

Is Tom Cruise dating Laura Prepon?

"Mission: Impossible" star Cruise is said to be dating Laura Prepon, star of "Orange is the New Black."

Television

'Scandal' recap: Season 3, Episode 18, 'The Price…

Sally is Jesus, Olivia caused global warming, and Mellie's still drunk. Let's recap the Scandal finale. A church full of Washington insiders is about to…

MLB

Jimmy Rollins is key to Phillies success

When John Kruk was asked about what the Phillies need to contend for a playoff berth, the ESPN analyst said Jimmy Rollins needs to play like a MVP again.

MLB

Ben Revere lifts Phillies to avoid sweep

Ben Revere came through with a two-out RBI single against Atlanta’s tough lefthander Alex Wood.

NBA

Season wrap: 76ers make the grade

The 76ers opened the 2013-14 season with a victory over the Miami Heat. The Sixers closed the season with a win at Miami.

NBA

Fantasy basketball: Finding next year's NBA studs

Before we put the 2013-14 fantasy basketball season to bed, it’s worth thinking about next year’s breakouts while they’re fresh in our mind.

Tech

VIDEO: 'Vein-scanning' may become the future of paying

Designed to make transactions quicker and easier, the technology works by scanning the unique vein patterns in each person's palm.

Tech

#FollowFriday: 10 of the smartest Twitter accounts

Spending lots of time on Twitter? You might as well learn something. Here are some of the smartest accounts to follow.

Style

Light-up nail art syncs with phone

This Japanese technology syncs light-up nail art with your phone.

Wellbeing

Why is dance cardio taking off in NYC?

Instructors at some of the city's hottest classes explain why.