Von Miller, urine collector conspired to beat drug test

Von Miller
Von Miller is an elite linebacker … and drug cheat.
Credit: Getty Images

Good thing baseball is the only American sport with a performance-enhancing drug problem, right? Right!?

Yeah, not so much, as illustrated by Broncos All Pro Von Miller.

ESPN broke the news Sunday morning that Miller, who is currently suspended six games for a drug violation, didn’t actually fail a test, per sé. Initially, he failed a test just for a diluted sample — not an actual positive test for any illegal substance. He was suspended four games per the NFL’s PED policy.

He planned to fight the test vigorously, because, well, he just had a diluted sample. Oh, but wait.

Turns out the NFL and the NFL players’ association learned that Miller had a diluted test for a reason. He and the urine collector conspired to cheat the test with someone else’s urine. ESPN reports the only reason the NFL learned of the collusion was because Miller’s “star struck” urine collector was actually in Miami when the specimen was supposedly collected in Denver. Another drug-test collector informed the league that Miller was not, in fact, able to be in two places at once.

Of course, even after the NFL learned this, they still only suspended the guy six games (two in addition to the usual)! The dude wasn’t just pulling out a Whizzinator, he was actually cheating with the very guy responsible for the program. How does that only merit a couple more games?

And, by the way, the Broncos sure don’t seem to be missing Miller. They’ve gotten off to a 2-0 start with wins over quality opponents — the past two Super Bowl champions — the Ravens and Giants.

But at least the NFL doesn’t have a PED problem, right?

Follow Metro New York Sports Editor Mark Osborne on Twitter @MetroNYSports. He uses only the finest in substitute urine for his drug tests.



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Sprint and T-Mobile offer further price discounts

Sprint unveiled a plan on Thursday that gives subscribers access to unlimited data for $60 a month, the industry's cheapest unlimited data offering.

National

Hundreds pay it forward at Florida Starbucks in…

The spontaneous chain of kindness continued for about 11 hours, totaling 457 transactions by the time it ended.

National

Weather system east of Caribbean could turn into…

An area of low pressure located east of the Caribbean Sea has a 50 percent chance of becoming a tropical depression or storm in the next 48 hours, U.S. forecasters…

National

U.S. hospital to discharge doctor treated with experimental…

An American doctor who contracted Ebola treating victims of the deadly virus in Liberia has recovered and will be discharged on Thursday by the Atlanta hospital that treated him with…

Movies

Review: 'When the Game Stands Tall' is both…

The high school football saga "When the Game Stands Tall" fumbles around for a focus while Jim Caviezel offers the most low-key coach in history.

Movies

Girlfriend in a coma: Chloe Grace Moretz

Chloe Grace Moretz is the best cheerleader "If I Stay" could ask for. As the star of the film adaptation of the successful YA novel…

The Word

The Word: Summer lovin' for Zac Efron and…

Ah, the summer romance. So intense, so fleeting. With Labor Day fast approaching, it should come as little surprise that the incredibly surprising romance between…

The Word

The Word: The Zac Efron-Michelle Rodriguez summer fling…

  Ah, the summer romance. So intense, so fleeting. With Labor Day fast approaching, it should come as little surprise that the incredibly surprising romance…

NFL

Fantasy football draft guide: How to draft your…

Many are wondering if we’re entering a new age in fantasy football drafting — one where running backs take a backseat.

NFL

Jets vs. Giants: 3 Giants storylines to watch

The Giants have plenty to work on as they reach the dress rehearsal preseason game Friday night against the rival Jets.

NFL

Jets vs. Giants: 3 Jets storylines to watch

Metro looks at three Jets storylines to watch as they play the Giants Friday.

NFL

Giants expected to work Corey Washington into first-team…

The day of reckoning for the Giants' fringe players will fall upon them Friday night against the Jets.

Sex

Big weddings may lead to long-term happiness

Dreaming of a big wedding? A new study indicates that the longer your guest list, the happier you’ll be in the long run. l A…

Sex

Online dating for every generation

Frank Jackson and his mother Maggie are like lots of modern families: They have dinner together regularly, keep each other updated on their lives —…

Wellbeing

Going green could be the key to getting…

If we could just pursue the things that would actually make us happy, we could help the environment too, according to a New York researcher.…

Tech

Siren: A new dating app that puts women…

Online dating can be brutal, especially for single women. Noting that many women hate wading through inappropriate messages and photos, two tech entrepreneurs decided to…