How to sign up for Warren Buffett / Quicken Loans billion-dollar NCAA bracket

Remember the TV show “Win Ben Stein’s Money”? If you don’t, it was hosted by a young Jimmy Kimmel and … well, I’m bored writing about “Win Ben Stein’s Money.”

Let’s talk, instead, about Warren Buffett’s money and his “offer” to pay out A BILLION dollars to someone who fills out the perfect NCAA tournament bracket. Considering that there are no documented cases of anyone ever filling out a perfect March Madness bracket, and that BusinessInsider.com recently wrote that the chances of picking perfect bracket are 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808, we can safely tell Buffett to take his billion and shove it. Seriously, why not just offer up a billion-dollar reward for the severed head of the Loch Ness Monster or the broom of Liza Minnelli? It’d be the exact same thing. Or, better yet, Warren, why don’t you just give everyone a stipend of your earnings this March? We could all use an extra Ben Franklin this time of year to, ya know, gamble away in an NCAA tournament bracket we actually think we can win.

Of course I am going to fill out about 122 of these Buffett brackets the second the Selection Show Sunday night ends because: 1. I’m a hypocrite, and 2. Because, hey, YA NEVA KNOW!!!!

Here’s how to sign up for Buffett’s billion, for you dreamers:

1. Go to QuickenLoansBracket.com.

2. Create a Yahoo! account (or use your own, of course).

3. Pick your teams once the field is announced.

Simple stuff, though if you would like to read through Quicken Loans’ rules, give yourself an extended lunch break (say, between five and six hours) to devour the legal copy.

Follow Metro Boston sports editor and columnist Matt Burke on Twitter @BurkeMetroBOS



News
Entertainment
Sports
Lifestyle
National

Mutant worms stay sober, even on alcohol

U.S. researchers have developed "mutant worms" that do not get drunk by alcohol, a breakthrough that could lead to new treatment for people trying to quit drinking

Local

K-9 nose helps capture $150K in cocaine at…

A furry, four-legged security agent helped authorities stop an illegal cocaine shipment from sneaking past JFK customs.

National

Minnesota man asked to leave Southwest flight after…

A man and his two sons were asked to leave a Southwest Airlines flight after the man sent a tweet complaining about being treated rudely by a gate agent.

National

Man sues hospital after surprise penis amputation

An Alabama man who went in to a hospital last month for a circumcision awoke after surgery to find his penis had been amputated, his lawyer said on Thursday.

Movies

Review: Brett Ratner's big 'Hercules' movie is small…

The latest "Hercules," starring Dwayne Johnson as the half-god beefcake of Greek myth, strips its hero and tale of most of its fantastical elements.

Arts

Scientists recreate world's smallest Monet copy

Scientists have reproduced a famous Impressionist painting using nano-printing, to create what has been described as the world's smallest work of art. Reworked at the…

Television

Jerry Seinfeld is ambidextrous, and other Reddit AMA…

See some of the weirder highlights of Jerry Seinfeld's recent Reddit AMA.

Going Out

Grab a pedestrian and start dancing at What…

As a New Yorker, I’ve mastered the art of focusing my gaze straight ahead. Though it occasionally piques my interest, the absurdities that play out…

NFL

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player…

2014 NFL Fantasy Football Top 100 overall player rankings

U.S. Soccer

NYCFC announce signing of Frank Lampard

The tease of a big signing Thursday by new MLS side NYCFC ended up being one rumored for weeks. England midfielder Frank Lampard agreed to…

NBA

NBA great LeBron James sends 800 cupcake apologies…

By Kim PalmerCLEVELAND (Reuters) - NBA star LeBron James, whose recent return to the Cleveland Cavaliers in his home state of Ohio sparked a frenzy…

NFL

Jerry Reese confident with Giants, skipping countdown clocks…

Last year, Giants GM Jerry Reese installed a countdown clock in the locker room to inspire Big Blue to play in their own stadium for Super Bowl XLVIII.

Tech

Forget Wi-Fi: Li-Fi could be the future

Li-Fi technology – developed by Mexican company Sisoft – is wireless internet connectivity using specialized LED light.

Tech

Weather app Climendo might be the most accurate…

The wait for a truly accurate weather forecast could finally be over thanks to a nifty new app called Climendo.

Tech

Napkin Table puts focus off the phone and…

Michael Jan, a design student at Tunghai University in Taiwan, has invented a serviette-picnic blanket hybrid called the Napkin Table.

Style

Essie's new Color Boutique

Essie launches high-tech kiosks at major airports and malls across the country.