For years, Kensington native Elwood "Buddy" Segeske told friends that when he died he didn't want a sad obituary but something fun — like the one he'd clipped out of the newspaper years ago, which he kept and liked to pull out and show off.
"He said, 'When I die, this is how I want to be remembered," recalled his longtime girlfriend Lisa Razzi.
So when Segeske passed away at 60 last week from complications brought on by a heart attack, Razzi, with help from her friend Donna Renae, went to work.
The way they put his passing: he "ate his last Philadelphia soft pretzel on February 25, 2016." The cause of death? The lasting effects of an alien abduction. Hobbies? "Stalking Jennifer Lawrence and looking at boobs."
In addition to leaving behind three siblings and two sons there's also "a battery-operated cymbal-smashing monkey," the obituary states.
Now Segeske's obituary is going viral. It has been shared widely across social media, gotten nearly 2,000 up-votes on Reddit, and has been reported on across the Internet as more and more people learn about Segeske's bizarre, wondrous life.
"I have just been floored by all the attention Buddy's obituary has gotten," Razzi, 52, said. "I think he would be enjoying this, he really would ... It was totally him, to celebrate his quirkiness, his twisted sense of humor."
Segeske had to stop his work as a tool and die maker in recent years after back surgery, which worsened his health but didn't dampen his spirits. When Razzi made him try yoga, he was vocal about hating it.
"I dragged him to a yoga class one time kicking and screaming... He said 'I can’t help it, smoking and drinking is a lot amore fun than yoga.'"
Almost every detail in the obituary is based on something true about Segeske's personality -- down to his pride in knowing Beatles' lyrics and accurately hitting urinal cakes. Even the raunchier details.
"Looking at boobs is a given," Razzi said.
He didn't literally stalk Jennifer Lawrence, he was just a fan, she said.
"We watched Silver Linings Playbook I don’t know how many times," Razzi said.
Philly soft pretzels were Segeske's favorite food -- he called them "Kensington breakfast" and was a fan of the ones from Bernie's in Aldan, Pa.
"Up to the day he died, it was a great ride, it was an amazing dance… He may have died penniless, but he was a rich, rich man," Razzi said. "He died at 6:16 p.m. I held him until his last breath."
Sometimes it hard to tell where jokes and fiction end and reality begins.
For example, did Razzi and Segeske really first meet during short stints in a psychiatric hospital, when he caught a piece of chicken thrown at her by another patient?
Razzi won't say, beyond, "those who know what happened know."
The life of Buddy Segeske will be celebrated at a mass at Holy Innocents Parish at 1337 E. Hunting Park Ave on Saturday at 9 a.m., to be followed by a luncheon. Donations to the family for funeral costs can be made via Gofundme.