Have you ever heard of SantaCon? That thing where people dress up like Santa Claus, parade around New York City and, most importantly, get drunk?
Well. This is better.
On Super Bowl eve, NextImpulseSports.com is inviting those in the New York-New Jersey area to dress up like sports radio's lord and savior, Mike Francesa. There are no set bars or designated sports pope talking areas for people to congregate... yet. But if you're a bar owner in New York or New Jersey and are interested in having your watering hole be one of the "stops" on this "UUUUGGGE" city-wide tour, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you're unfamiliar with Francesa or his following, make no mistake — this is a gimmick that's gonna work. There will be hundreds, if not thousands, of people on Super Bowl eve in greater NYC dressed in fat suits with slicked-back grey hair, glasses, odd headphones, striped dress shirts with FUPAs and Diet Cokes, stammering and screaming, "Back afta Dis!"
Since his longtime partner, Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo left WFAN in 2008, Francesa has gained notoriety for being, arguably, the most brash and delusional media person in media. "Dog" was, without question, the more entertaining and (I can't believe I'm actually saying this) "talented" of the duo, but Francesa has somehow gained more attention since "Dog" went to Sirius XM thanks to his out-of-this-world, "I-am-Jesus" approach to sports talk.
Even if you weren't born and bred in the tri-state area, you should appreciate the great Francesa at some point in your life. For instance, growing up in Boston, I thought WEEI was the be-all and end-all. Eddie Andelman taught me that soccer was for pansies and that hot dogs were healthier for you than shredded wheat. Glenn Ordway taught me that screaming at four different people at the same time is an acceptable form of conversation. And Michael Felger (now of 98.5 The Sports Hub) taught me that fact is not necessarily better than opinion.
But in later years (my adult years), I learned what it takes to be a true man. Yup, I learned exactly how to have zero fun for the rest of my life. And that was by listening to Mike Francesa.