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Dallas as icy as Big Ben’s bar stare

Hines Ward set about proving that Dallas has just enough strippers, thank you very much, while Ben Roethlisberger tried to recast his image by cornering a Billy Joel song at the piano rather than a drunk coed.

Hines Ward set about proving that Dallas has just enough strippers, thank you very much, while Ben Roethlisberger tried to recast his image by cornering a Billy Joel song at the piano rather than a drunk coed.

Welcome to Super Bowl XLV, the party where the city’s shut down — except if it has anything to do with the big game. Yes, the roads in North Texas are still icy despite the fact no new precipitation has fallen in more than 48 hours (this permanent layer would have been cleared up in an afternoon by the laziest of East Coast crews, too).

Ah, to be a Dallas school kid. Or a Super Bowl quarterback with a pesky past.

For there was Roethlisberger crooning songs while downing drinks at Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar in Fort Worth on Tuesday night. This, of course, a night after Ward led a group of Steelers on a strip club run that left not a single person shot or even punched (amateurs!).

But back to Big Ben, who really needs to moon someone, a la Jim McMahon at the 1986 Super Bowl, but settled for belting out “Piano Man” to his offensive linemen instead.

“That’s a great piano song isn’t it?” Roethlisberger said. “One of the best. You’ve got to request that when you’re at the piano bar.”

See, America? Roethlisberger isn’t that predator that you think he is. He goes to piano bars! Back down Chris Hansen. The real wonder is how the Steelers are getting around “North Texas” (more cities claim to be hosting this Super Bowl than there are Tiger Woods mistresses) so easily. It turns out that ice isn’t very democratic either.

If any of real icky stuff gets in the way of a Super event — or even just a media bus barreling along so everyone can hear Packers linebacker Clay Matthews talk about his hair — it’s cleaned away ultra quick.

Unless you’re going to KISS frontman Gene Simmons’ party. At least according to Gene. When the $400 to $500 tickets for Simmons’ bash had to be knocked down to $100 to get anyone in the door, the reality TV rocker claimed ice.

Of course. It couldn’t be that even Dallasites are too smart to fork over half a grand for Simmons’ D-list get-together.

“The Super Bowl party market in Dallas is completely oversaturated,” said Pat Ryan, a ticket broker who sells party passes. “When people hear Super Bowl, they see money.

Classy.

–Chris Baldwin covers the sports media for Metro.

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Send submissions to letters@metro.us.

 
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