Green: It’s August ... must be time to panic

Second rule of being a Sox fan: Never underestimate their ability to find new and creative ways to break your heart.

Third rule of being a Sox fan: Never count out the Yankees.

When New York was first in payroll but last in the division, some speculated that they were finished for the season. “This race is already over,” wrote Bill Reynolds in the Providence Journal. On ESPN.com, Jayson Stark made the hype national. “They’re not catching the Red Sox. No team in history ever has been 14˝ games out before June and come back to finish first.” On SI.com, John Donovan took up the thread. “It’s almost unfathomable to think that the Red Sox … can choke away the division lead.”

Start fathoming.

Yankees GM Brian Cashman got flayed by the New York press for letting Eric Gagne go to the Sox. Now they’re about ready to throw him a parade. There’s no disputing what Gagne’s accomplished, but despite his performance in Tuesday’s win over Tampa, his best years are behind him. After two years of injuries, he regained his form early this season only to give up seven earned runs in his first five appearances with the Red Sox, quickly becoming responsible for the team dropping two games in the loss column. The way he’s going, the only team who’ll sign him next year is the Pirates.

At this rate, PawSox closer Travis Hughes would have done a better job (1.95 ERA, 17 saves, and a strikeout per inning). Sure, he’s a 29-year-old quadruple-A type. But he’s free. So is Craig Breslow, another farmhand, who with an ERA of over 3, isn’t exactly Joba Chamberlain. And yet his strikeout-to-walk ratio is better than 3:1, good enough for the minor league All-Star Game. Those aren’t exactly the kind of guys that strike fear into the heart of the enemy. But as long as they can make pitches and get outs, I don’t care how many records they haven’t broken or Cy Youngs they don’t have.

Boston sports commentators love to tell fans that it’s not time to panic. Well, allow me to break ranks: Sox fans, it’s time to panic.

If you know your laws of Sox fandom, you saw all of this coming. Real Sox fans never count out the Yanks, never assume touted midseason acquisitions will help, never expect their team to hold a 15-game lead with a hundred games left to play. I, for one, won’t sleep soundly until there’s a 30-game lead with 29 left to play.

Nevertheless, there’s one rule no true Sox fan ever forgets. The very first rule of being a Red Sox fan? Believe. Even if you’re panicking at the same time.

Sarah Green is a freelance writer who can be reached at sgreen@gmail.com.