Hidden meaning

If you get one of these gifts, someone is trying to tell you something

ROUNDUP. Got a bum gift from your sweetie? Don’t think of it as unoriginal gift-giving; your significant other just might be trying to send you a message. Beware of he following gifts and your rationale for getting them — you just might be fooling yourself.

Item 1: Gift certificate to Banana Republic
Your rationale: You’re hard to shop for, you know. This is just a harmless gift. 
The reality: You dress like a third-grader.

Item 2: “What Color is My Parachute”
Your rationale: You complain about your job, so this tiny gift will just help you along until you find the perfect fit.
The reality: You have four months until you get a job that actually pays you money, or you’ll be dumped on your ass.

Item 3: Running shoes
Your rationale: You’ve been meaning to buy a pair, but they are just so expensive that you could never fit it in your budget. Thankfully, you got them for Christmas.
The reality: Lose some weight, fatty.

Item 4: Sexy lingerie
Your rationale: Your boyfriend is very attracted to you and would love to see your body framed in sexy sleepwear.
The reality: You look absolutely repugnant in those sweatpants you wear to bed every night. Please give him
some motivation.

Item 5: An electric razor
Your rationale: Your girlfriend knows how much you hate shaving, so she decided to give you a way to expedite the process.
The reality: Your beard is really, really gross, and your girlfriend just wants you to look like a normal person who actually lives under a roof in front of her friends.

Item 6: A puppy
Your rationale: How cute! Your significant other understands how much you love animals! Even though raising a puppy is hard work, the love and affection make it all worth it!
The reality: Your significant other is about to break up with you. You’ll need the puppy to keep you company.