Hello, strange festival season

It’s one of my favorite times of the year. It’s time for strange festivals, and our area certainly has its fair share. Here are a few of the best.

The Intercourse Rhubarb Festival is coming up this weekend. It’s not dedicated to intercourse — that’s just the name of the town it’s held in — but to one of the few vegetables you’ll find in pies. Rhubarb is a veggie that looks like celery, except with purple stalks. I was a celebrity judge in the Rhubarb Pie bake-off last year, so needless to say, they get some pretty big stars at this thing.

Ok, so this isn’t technically a festival, but it certainly is strange. The Illusion Ranch Alpaca Auction is taking place at the Philadelphia Expo Center on Saturday. The opening sentence of their press release reads: “Please have your alpacas on site and stalled prior to 9:30 a.m.” Just a little heads up, in case you were thinking about wandering in with your unstalled alpaca around lunch time.

The Kinetic Sculpture Derby is this Saturday. Think soapbox derby, except much crazier, with people dressed as pirates or aliens riding on modified bikes. The event takes place on Trenton Avenue in East Kensington at noon; Octu Vishnu is looking to repeat as champion.

If you’re willing to travel for your weird festival fetish, may we suggest England for the Cooper’s Hill Cheese Rolling on May 25? You, too, could be one of the dozens of people sent to the hospital each year while chasing a cheese wheel down a steep hill! (P.S. — Please stall your alpaca before the cheese starts rolling.)

Johnny Goodtimes is a local quizmaster and blogger at www.johnnygoodtimes.com.