US – Tuesday, February 9
Plant blast under investigation
Federal investigators headed to Connecticut yesterday to determine the cause of an explosion at an unfinished power plant that killed at least five workers and hospitalized dozens of others.
 
Pressure grows for sanctions
International pressure for new sanctions against Iran grew yesterday after Tehran announced plans to make higher-enriched uranium and add 10 nuclear sites in a year, raising Western fears it wants to develop atom bombs.
 
Stern: I’d do ‘Idol’ for $100M
Howard Stern took to his radio show yesterday to address the rumors that he’s a possible replacement for Simon Cowell for the next season of “American Idol.” To sum it up? He’s not going for it.
 
Dancing while the skinny lady sings
You’ve heard of the jukebox musical? David Parsons and singers AnnMarie Milazzo and Tyley Ross of the East Village Opera Co. offer a jukebox opera, playing nightly at the Joyce. Eleven Parsons dancers share the stage with Milazzo and Ross, who clutch microphones cranked to 11 and stroll through the action. On the recorded soundtrack, three drummers create a wall of sound so loud you — well, I — want to hide under the seat. Digital video of abstract patterns, natural landscapes and stunning architecture change for each song.
 
‘Free’ ad leads to fraud suit
NEW YORK. A Wisconsin college student is suing credit firm Experian — the brains behind the ubiquitous FreeCreditReport.com jingles — for fraudulent advertising after she inadvertently signed up for a monthly $14.95 monitoring service.
 
Let me count the ways ...
‘Tis the season for writing love letters. But that can be a daunting endeavor, especially when you’re not sure where to start. Should you put it in verse, use flowery language, get erotic? As with almost anything in life, the simpler you keep it, the easier (and often better) it will be. It doesn’t sound that romantic, but think of your love letter as a laundry list of the reasons why you adore your sweetheart. It’s kinda like Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43: “How do you love your partner? Count the ways!” Here’s how to do it without rhyming or pulling out a thesaurus:
 
Updated 00:32, June the 3rd, 2009
 
Streeter SeidellStreeter Seidell
 
 

The banker’s lament

Woe am I now, for good times have gone.

My vacation, cancelled. My savings, withdrawn.

Bailouts they came and bailouts they went.

Before it arrived, the money was spent.

Bad news comes each day. How can I endure when my annual bonus is missing a fig-ure?

And all I can do is sit here and wonder what it’ll be like when the banks all go under.

Murray Hill is deserted, quiet is the Street. 

And on West 14th they’re back packing meat. 

No models, or bottles, in a market so bear.

My Hamptons home, now a Hamptons share. 

The trains are still crowded, but to my chagrin my friends now head south, out to dirty Brooklyn.

Or worse, to New Jersey, or even to Queens, where only the clubs are deader than the dreams. 

And back in the city, the cranes all come down.

Not a condo is sold in this forsaken town.

Housing’s a storm, and I at the center watch my former co-op fill up with renters. 

With neighbors like these, tell me how will I fare, when those breathing free are breathing my air?

The wretched refuse of those teeming shores are tossing a tempest outside of my door!

So sing long the praises of days that have passed, and remember a time when it wasn’t so bad.

When my friends and I thought it was fun to pay $300 for a bottle of rum. 

But I shall not dwell, or stew in my pain.

Instead I’ll go out to see what remains, of a city once grand, though I truly do fear I cannot get by on $175,000 a year.
Streeter Seidell is the front page editor for CollegeHumor.comMetro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Please send 400-word submissions to letters@metro.usStreeter Seidell is the front page editor for CollegeHumor.com

Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Please send 400-word submissions to letters@metro.us
 
 
 
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MMMpod
The February MMMpod features conversation from Ozzy Osbourne. Michael Emerson from "Lost" tells us about his days enjoying punk rock in Boston. We also dig up an old interview from the late great Howard Zinn. We have a song from Delta Spirit and The Soft Pack, who tell us where they got their name.

 
 
Metro Life Panel