Peace in the Middle East

I can’t think of anything less rock ’n’ roll than chickpeas, but don’t tell the Sa-ter Brothers, because they have built a musical empire out of hummus at the Middle East in Central Square.

Hands down, this is the best club in the Hub; everyone who’s anyone in the music biz has played here. And you already know that if you live here, but if you’re an incoming frosh, it’s something you’ll learn soon. Probably right now, from this column. Upstairs, downstairs or the bakery — there’s no end to the nightlife in this rocking block of Mass Ave.  

So what if the floors are sticky and the bathrooms are — to say the least — funky? You came for the music. At the teeny upstairs venue, you are  super close to the band. Downstairs is larger, but no less of an intimate (read: dark and sweaty) experience.

If you aren’t one of the aforementioned underage freshmen, and haven’t been branded by giant black Xs Sharpied on your hands, then partake of the libations served by some of the coolest bartenders (especially Franx) in town. Service tends to be friendlier to the familiar, so get on their good side. Follow a few obvious rules: Don’t order Cosmos, fill your own water glass, and don’t shout rude epithets while waving dollars until you’ve been noticed. Think classic, quick and cheap — PBR tall boys, strong shots, Jack and Coke — something you don’t mind spilling when you get jostled (oh, it’ll happen) by the crowd or dance too hard (you bet your ass you will).

Don’t expect gourmet grub, but if you want sturdy Middle Eastern fare and a deliciously greasy burger, you needn’t travel farther than your leather booth. The skinny fries are freshly fashioned for the skinny- jeaned throng.

There aren’t many places in town I’d send you on a random night and guarantee a good time, but from belly dancing to booze to bass, you can’t beat the Middle East.

The Middle East Restaurant and Nightclub
472/480 Mass. Ave., Cambridge
MBTA: Red Line to Central
617-864-EAST
www.mideastclub.com