Most coastal city-dwellers who are familiar with the grittier, busier side of life, relationships and indie-rock bands will love “Going the Distance”; the rest of America, not so much. A mechanical alteration has Javier Vazquez back in the Yankee rotation.The number of illegal immigrants living in the U.S. shrank 8 percent to 11.1 million in 2009 from a peak of 12 million in 2007.Even though he occasionally eats meat, Lukas Volger champions veggie burgers. “I love them, but veggie burgers have a terrible reputation,” he says. To change the perception of this freezer staple as boring, over-processed and cardboard-y, Volger created 32 flavorful recipes using fresh, wholesome ingredients in his new book, “Veggie Burgers Every Which Way.”Andy Murray's latest bid to end Britain’s long wait for a Grand Slam champion gets under way today when he begins his U.S. Open campaign against Slovakia’s Lukas Lacko.The 33 miners trapped underneath a Chilean mountain are safe. The most challenging task now is making sure the miners don’t lose their sanity as they await rescue.For the first time since 2003, the defending champion Penn Quakers find themselves the hunted, rather than the hunters, in the Ivy League this season. They’re also a win away from the prestigious 800 mark in school history, with longtime coach Al Bagnoli three wins from passing George Woodruff as the school’s all-time winningest coach.So you squandered an estate note on a bachelor’s degree, then trudged through more entry-level hardships and thankless internships than should be legally permissable, only to backslide into a self-esteem shattering, résumé-derailing grind, several tax brackets below your dignity. From Baltimore to Lancaster avenues and along Market Street in between, University City is abuzz from the arrivals of college students and professors back after summer vacation.While breast-enhancing surgery has become almost a norm for American women, men are also heading to the plastic surgeon’s office more often — to have their man-boobs (moobs) removed. 
Imagine the disappointment of walking into a strip club and seeing your daughter on the pole. Feels kind of like Eddie Royal’s start, no?
The time is now to draw some conclusions on guys not living up to expectations. We can’t just sit around crying, lamenting our wasted early-round pick. Here is some advice on what to expect from your struggling stars going forward.
Find the nearest bridge and jump
Eddie Royal is in big trouble. He’s not playing in the slot and is losing snaps to Jabar Gaffney. It’s just not a priority for the Broncos to get Royal catches. He must be benched.
In running back years, Clinton Portis is 108 years old. He has ankle/calf problems and his best run blocker (Randy Thomas) is out for the year.
Steve Slaton is losing almost all of the red zone carries to Chris Brown. On top of that, he’s angered the coaches with inexplicable fumbles. He’d be a third-round pick if we drafted today.
Step away from the ledge, it will be OK
Matt Forte’s offensive line features three new starters that need a little more time to gel. Last year’s rookie sensation can’t keep seeing eight men in the box with the suddenly superb Jay Cutler completing 64 percent of his passes in Chicago.
If there’s one guy to buy low on, it’s Roddy White. The double teams on Tony Gonzalez will lead to some huge games. Gonzo had just one reception last week, so expect White’s targets to increase.
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