Caray Hardly a chip off the old block

 

 

If you’ve taken in any postseason baseball, then we can agree on a few things: Closers are of utmost importance, Alex Rodriguez seems to have reconnected his October groove, and TBS announcer Chip Caray is struggling mightily in the booth. 

Caray speaks far too often, and doesn’t let the game breathe. He rushes to speak, and in the process, has made countless errors in the first week of the postseason. Play-by-play is a difficult gig and regardless of how much Chip improves, he’ll always be compared to and fall short of his grandfather, the legendary Harry Caray.

Here’s how TBS can take the pressure off Caray: Add a third voice to the booth. Preferably, a loquacious athlete. Ron Darling sounds sedated. Some options:

Rickey Henderson — Might be the best quote in baseball history. He’ll be outlandish, sure, but some fans will turn it into a drinking game. Any time Rickey refers to himself in the third person, drink.

Curt Schilling — Just because everyone will dislike him so much, Caray will be off the hook. If fans are really lucky, maybe Curt will finally offer a mea culpa for drilling Roger Clemens for PED use while staying mum on his equally guilty teammates, Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz.

Lenny Dykstra — Because he’s broke and desperate, and athletes perform their best when they’ve run out of options. Bonus: He’ll probably make stock picks, and you can be sure to do the opposite of whatever he advises.

MMA ring girls — They’re smoking and will undoubtedly draw cameras away from the pug-faced Kate Hudson. Oh yeah, they’ll also skyrocket ratings. Spike TV’s MMA reality series “The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights” beat out all three MLB postseason games last Wednesday in the coveted, young men, 18-34 demographic. We’re thinking a different ring girl for every inning or just nine innings of Natasha Wicks.

Calling on our classy readers

The NBA season is less than two weeks away and one of the most difficult chores, outside of picking the NBA champ (Orlando?) is coming up with the preseason all-WAG team. For the non-soccer fans, that’s wives and girlfriends.

You’d have to figure Gabrielle Union (Dwyane Wade), Adriana Lima (Marko Jaric) and Eva Longoria (Tony Parker) will make the squad, but e-mail us your picks for the starters and reserves. We’ll unveil the full roster next week.

– Jason Raj McIntyre covers athletes off the field and runs the popular blog, The Big Lead (TheBigLead.com).

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