Published 03:03, November the 2nd, 2009
How to smite down your doofus ex-boss
Who hasn’t dreamed of putting a curse on those who fired them? If you want revenge, author Dawn Rae Downton was kind (or evil) enough to share with us her “Flush-a-Bye” curse, which is used to ensure your ex-boss also becomes unemployed.
You need:
Scissors
A picture of your boss. If you can’t get this, get a possession — like a paperclip from his or her desk.
A pint of flat beer
The curse:
Cut the picture into nine pieces. If you’re using a possession, break it into three bits. Overnight, soak the bits. In the morning, fish out the bits and flush them down the toilet with the beer. Say “Bye-bye boss, bye-bye-boss, bye-bye-boss.” Flush twice again, repeating the incantation each time.
No losing of limbs — promise
Before we get a ton of letters in chastising the paper for printing a curse, Downton tells us that her curse is just “a delicious fantasy.” She reassures, “Sure, you don’t really want to do anything that results in CEOs losing their body parts ... but how about their jobs? Your fate’s in their hands, after all, and it always will be, no matter how hard and smart you work. How about turning the tables for once?”
METRO/DR