Inspiration breakdown!

 

“Get Psyched! The Book! Live!”
Thursday, 7 p.m.
Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
307 W. 26th St., $5
212-366-9176

 

Feeling down? Well Dr. Lanny Latham wants you to turn that frown upside down with “Get Psyched! The 7 Steps To a More Psyched Life.” Just like the title of the self-published book promises, the former P.E. teacher and crystal meth addict will reveal the secrets of “Psyched-ness.” (Disclaimer: Now’s a good time as any to let you know that Latham is a fictional character created by actor Rob Lathan, who gives the following fake interview.)

Just what is the “Get Psyched” philosophy?

It’s a philosophy that’s been passed down for centuries and centuries from our greatest leaders, philosophers, inventors and rap artists. And now [I] want to unleash it onto the rest of the world and/or universe in my new book.

How has “Getting Psyched” helped out your own life?

When I first discovered it, I was fired as a P.E. teacher and was addicted to crystal meth. Then, I hit rock bottom — literally — when I thought it’d be a good idea to jump off a rock quarry while high. After I was put in a full-body cast, it occurred to me that things would be a whole lot better if I would just get psyched.

Valentine’s Day is coming up. Any advice for those who need help landing a date?

They can follow my Seven Steps to Losing Weight Instantly:

1. Get Psyched!
2. Don’t Eat
3. Run
4. Be Skinny
5. Visualize
6. Quick Hands!
7. Get Psyched!

I also recommend to practice Kegels. I do them all the time.

Even while you’re talking to me?

Especially while I’m talking to you.