QUOTED IN THE NEWS
“The consuming public is well aware of the difference between a face and a butt.” The South Butt’s legal retort to The North Face, which is suing for trademark infringement. Clearly, South Butt’s Legal team has never seen “jersey shore.”
“Phil is treated like a king, surely the envy of all of his fellow groundhogs.” Altoona Mirror, in response to a proposal from animal rights group peta to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robot. Which is all well and good — until our cuddly forecasting groundbots rise against their human masters...
WHAT DID WE LEARN?
Palin smarter than she looks
We learned that it’s a lot easier to make the New York Times best-seller list when you divert more than $60,000 from your political action committee straight to your publisher. (“Sarah Palin Uses PAC to Buy Her Own Book,” ABC News, Feb. 1) Her detractors may call her stupid, but vapid prose hasn’t sold this well since L. Ron Hubbard invented his own religion.
How do you clean an iPad?
We learned that people know what they want. (“Adobe Plays the Porn Card in Flash Campaign Against iPad,” Wired, Jan. 29) Because what good is a high-costed, oversized iPhone if you can’t use it to view tasteless Flash-based pornography on the go?
Tragedy? Or opportunity knocking?
We learned that every massive loss of life has a silver lining. (“After Quake, Evangelicals Find Opportunity”, AOL News, Jan 31) “Out of tragedy, there is opportunity,” says surprisngly honest evangelical Christian pastor Gersan Valcin. “For a Christian, this is the best time to be alive.” At the very least, it’s a better time than a few weeks ago — when an estimated 200,000 Haitians died in some earthquake...
GOP kicking some real ass
We learned that America loves a hero. (“New England Company Unveils [Scott] Brown Action Figure,” FOX News, Feb. 1) It’s high time someone in the GOP grew a pair of opposable thumbs.
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