To the surprise of approximately nobody, Abby Lee Miller is trying to get as much attention over her recent prison sentence as possible.
“Dance Moms’” most shameless provocateur went on E! News over the weekend to shed a tear for the cameras, because the woman has got to make the most of her time in the spotlight.
“It is surreal. How does a nice Catholic girl end up going to prison for a year? It’s crazy,” the 50-year-old says, somehow keeping a straight face. “I’ve made mistakes. I have to pay for those mistakes. I feel like the whole case could have been handled differently.”
Yeah! You could have like, not hid your money from the government.
Miller, of course, was sentenced to 366 days in prison last week for bankruptcy fraud and bringing an unreported $120,000 foreign currency into the United States. Additionally, she was ordered to pay a $40,000 fine and a $120,000 money judgement.
“A year and a day,” the 50-year-old reality star said. “It sounds like a movie title.” Is she serious?
As far as hobbies, Miller is hoping to pick up some skills during her time in prison. And you know, hypothetically learn from her mistakes. “Would I like to learn a little about accounting? Yes. Would I like to learn Spanish? Yes.” Dream big, babe! “There are tons of haters out there but I have to live with what I did and I’m taking responsibility.” Taking responsibility is more than just proclaiming to everybody that you’re taking responsibility, which is something that this woman has yet to learn.
Miller has about a month and a half before she has to head to the clink, where she will reenact the role of the very delusional Roxie Hart from “Chicago,” a role iconically played by Renee Zellweger. There will be singing and dancing and seedy well dressed lawyers played by Richard Gere!
At least, that’s what she probably thinks.