Beach Pizza rankings: Best square, sweet sauce slice

“Beach pizza” is very much a Boston – Massachusetts – New Hampshire phenomenon.

Yeah, places like the Jersey Shore have pizza shops within walking distance of their own dumpy beach – but Massachusetts invented this here game. “Beach pizza” is known for its square cut, its sweet sauce, and the option for “extra cheese,” which is code for a slice of provolone cheese.

Here are the best options for “beach pizza” in New England.

4. Beach Pizza

181 Merrimack St, Haverhill, MA

Phone: 978-337-0056

Who are the SEO wizards that came up with this one?! Good work, the simpler the better on the Internets, so the out-of-towners in search of “Beach Pizza” can take a drive to not-exactly-seaside Haverhill for a square slice. It’s basically the “Hydrox” to the rest of this list’s “Oreos.”

3. Cristaldi’s Pizza

443 NH-286, Seabrook, NH

Phone: 603-474-5744

I see what you did here Cristaldi’s. You tried to trick drunk people into thinking you were Cristy’s with that name.

Too bad they don’t have beach pizza in Europe @ Salisbury, Massachusetts https://t.co/QvoRMq2w7n

— Christina Jaskot (@christinanjh) June 9, 2017

2. Tripoli’s Pizza

23 Broadway, Salisbury, MA

Phone: 978-465-3846

Nice try, No. 2. Tripoli’s is Cristy’s chief rival (they’re within 20 yards of one another on the “gorgeous” Salisbury strip) and they’ve tried to beat Cristy’s through expansion. They now have bakeries in Lawrence, North Andover, Methuen, and Seabrook – which all offer the company’s almost perfect beach slices.

7news viewers not happy with my devil dogs just delivered us …Tripoli’s pizza !!!! Thank you !!!! #7News pic.twitter.com/MKCoHV7fUV

— Steve Cooper (@scooperon7) February 9, 2017

1. Cristy’s Pizza

13 Broadway, Salisbury, MA

Phone: 978-462-2640

Still the gold standard of beach pizza. If you want to do Salisbury beach right, spend a long night at the disgusting Knotty Pine Motel down the street and get a box of extra cheese from Cristy’s to-go. Eat it poolside and be sure to keep it away from whatever small animal is clogging the filter.