Hide your kids, hide your wife: Ben Affleck is ready to move on from his divorce and I am too.
Last week, Jennifer Garner, 45, finally got around to filling for divorce after some well covered ups and downs. Let’s run ‘em down: First, they separated in 2015. He maybe cheated with the nanny. Then, earlier this year, Bennifer 2.0 decided to call off the divorce. In March, Affleck admitted he’d completed treatment for alcohol addiction. Now, the divorce is really, seriously happening this time: TMZ reports that after Affleck’s stint in rehab, Garner thought it was a good time to be like, “Oh yeah, BTW, this is not going to work, byeeeeee!”
But the actors want to assure you that despite the split, everything is totally chill. So chill, in fact, that the 44-year-old is just now moving out. According to DailyMail, Affleck is out of the family home, and has already started dating someone new (albiet casually). Because Sad Batman literally has no time to waste. Frankly, I’m impressed with his surprisingly vast emotional capacity: to be able to date the week after your on again/off again wife files for divorce is kind of insane. Teach me your wisdom, Ben!
Sources tell the site that the divorce will take at least six months, because Affleck and Garner thought love was real and never discussed diving assets because they were “ambivalent about the divorce.” Okay, sure!
The gentle giant with the Boston brogue and the woman from the Capital One commercials were married in 2005 and were together for a total of 12 very years — which as you know, is an eternity squared in Hollywood years. They share three children: Violet, 11; Seraphina, 8; and Samuel, 5.
It’s good to see that Affleck is moving on with his life, or whatever. If he can make it through this, surely he can make it through all the horrible Batman movies he’s contractually obligated to complete. Good luck, my dude!