As evidenced by the abundance of apps that prevent your phone from being allowed to text certain people during certain hours, texting can be a dangerous thing. It’s also something that we tend to completely overthink when playing the field. Follow these three simple rules and never again will you have to worry about ruining a relationship with your thumbs.
1. Screw the three-day rule.
Abiding by the infamous three-day rule fools no one: If after going on a date you wait three days to text, everyone knows you waited just to wait. Instead, reach out when it feels natural: If something reminded you of them the next day, if you want to tell them that night that you had a great time, or if your schedule has solidified and you want to find a time to see them again.
2. Give texting a rest.
Relationships should start in person, not with a text. As you’re first getting to know someone, you’re in high alert mode. Every move your potential lover makes can count as evidence of them being crazy, sketchy, douchey or unappealing in some other way. Since texts can be so easily taken in the wrong tone or out of context, your risk of turning someone off is much higher over text than it is in person. And even if you’re 100 percent confident in your abilities to represent yourself well, you have no idea how your romantic interest is going to come across. Basically, the risks of texting too much too soon runs both ways. Not only do you risk looking bad, but you risk getting turned off by someone who might actually be a good fit — just a bad texter.
3. Ladies, don’t be afraid to initiate.
In a recent survey on CheckHimOut.com, 99 percent of women said a guy should be first to text. Meanwhile, the research I did for my book "Are All Guys A--holes?" showed that only 2 percent of guys preferred to be the one to always make contact. Moral of the story: Don’t be afraid to text a guy first. Just like girls, guys get excited to hear from a girl they like — you’re not “bothering” him by reaching out. Besides, guys get just as nervous as girls do when it comes to dating. Being the first person to text after a date is taking one for the team.