This might date me, but as a teen I remember seeing countless ads in the back of women’s magazines for creams and lotions that promised to "firm and tone" breasts in as little as three days. These magic potions were always expensive, but they backed up their claims with before-and-after photos with miraculous results.
These days, we’re still bombarded with the same messages, though now instead of magazine ads we get Instagram post after YouTube video where people claim to have found the answer to all our beauty problems. The latest? Breast firming cream made with toothpaste and petroleum jelly.
Does toothpaste help firm breasts?
A YouTube vlogger named Editorial Naturalbeauty556 recently posted a video, Tighten Sagging Breast in Just 5 Days Using Toothpaste No Jokes. Her recipe — a mixture of toothpaste, flour, egg whites, and cucumber — will firm up breasts.
And people are listening: The video has nearly 8 million views.
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Another video claims that a mixture of toothpaste as petroleum jelly can firm up the breasts if you use it "nightly" — as much as one full cup size. Who knew that toothpaste was so versatile?
All kidding aside, if toothpaste seems like an improbable way to improve your breasts, it’s because it is.
"It may give a temporary feeling of tightness when the toothpaste dries, but that will quickly disappear when you wash off the toothpaste," Jennifer Wider, M.D., told Women’s Health.
Dermatologist Mona Gohara, M.D., was a bit more blunt.
"Wait, what the hell?" she told Marie Claire. "As a derm, I cringe at the prospect of putting toothpaste on a zit, let alone slathering it on your breasts."
"Along with the fact that toothpaste can be an extreme skin irritant, there is also no medical evidence that toothpaste or vaseline or any topical cream can increase collagen or elastin," she added. "Otherwise, trust me—after baby number two, I would have been wearing Crest all day long."
So, there you have it: Toothpaste might make your breath minty fresh and clean, but it won’t do anything to help improve your chest. For that, you have to hit the gym (or a plastic surgeon’s office).