It’s Nutcracker season! And in Boston, there’s a production to suit every taste, whether you’re a traditionalist, a modernist or you like your holiday fare served with a healthy helping of adults-only humor. Still not sure which describes you? Our quiz will guide you in the right direction this holiday season.Our favorite? We wouldn’t miss any of them! 1. I’ve seen “The Nutcracker”
A. Never
B. Only a handful of times
C. What’s “The Nutcracker”?
D. Enough times to want to change it up
2. My plan for a night out is to
A. Get dressed up, go big and go home
B. Impress my date with something cultural and romantic
C. Have a fun night out with the whole family without breaking the bank
D. Hoot and holler and have a rip-roaring time with friends
3. When I think of “The Nutcracker” I think of
A. Tchaikovsky’s score
B. The Sugar Plum Fairy
C. Children
D. Ugly Christmas sweaters
4. When it comes to Tchaikovsky’s score I want to hear
A. A big, live orchestra
B. Pre-recorded music is OK with me
C. A jazzy version
D. Buzz buzz
5. I want to see
A. The biggest Christmas tree ever
B. Men in tights, up close and personal
C. Ballet with a little tap, jazz and hip-hop too
D. Boobs
6. When it snows I want
A. White-out conditions
B. Only want a light dusting
C. To be outside on the Public Garden
D. To be protected from the elements
7. All I want for Christmas is
A. A prince to sweep me off my feet
B. A Nutcracker
C. A loved one home from the military
D. Batteries for my vibrator
8. When I go to sleep I dream about
A. Dancing bears
B. Mice
C. Hula hoops
D. 50 Shades of Grey
9. I would love to travel to
A. Russia
B. China
C. My favorite spots in Boston
D. The Museum of Sex
10. Santa, I’ve been:
A. Perfect
B. Nice
C. Happy
D. Naughty
If you scored:
Mostly As
Boston Ballet presents Mikko Nissinen’s “The Nutcracker”
You like your “Nutcracker” productions to be traditional, and you have BB’s Christmas ballet permanently marked in your calendar for you to enjoy, from age 2-102.
Nov. 28-Dec. 31
The Opera House
539 Washington St., Boston
$35-$220, 617-695-6950
Mostly Bs
José Mateo Ballet Theatre presents “The Nutcracker”
You want to have a quiet dinner date night, enjoy the ballet and continue your night over a cup of hot cocoa in Harvard Square.
Nov. 28-Dec. 21
Various venues: The Sanctuary Theatre (Harvard Square, Cambridge),
The Strand Theatre (Dorchester) and Duxbury Performing Arts Center
$15-$50, 617-354-7467
Mostly Cs
Tony Williams’ Urban Nutcracker
You know a little bit about ballet, but you’re feeling ready to spice it up, dance-wise, and ready to see a show that’s maybe a little bit more 21st century.
Dec. 12-28
John Hancock Hall
180 Berkeley St., Boston
$25-85, (888) 596-1027
Mostly Ds
Vanessa White’s “The Slutcracker — A Burlesque”
Want shock and awe? This show is definitely a conversation starter. Even your conservative buddies will be jealous that you got to be a little naughty for a night.
Dec. 5-31
Somerville Theater
55 Davis Square, Somerville
$27, 617-625-4088
Take our handy ‘Nutcracker’ quiz to find the right production for you
Liza Voll
