Men always want to know women are thinking. The catch: She might be too afraid to say it directly, as she might not feel that it's safe. After all, no one wants to lay themselves out as vulnerable if they are just going to be judged. To get the cold, hard truth, I took the plunge and surveyed 500 women. I wanted the real deal about what is in their heads when it comes to life, love, and what drives them crazy in their relationships. Men: Be warned all ye who enter here.
10. "Unless we are both posting something, get off the damned phone when you're out with me."
Men and women can both be guilty of being too connected too often. But when out on a date, put your technology away and focus on the moment. It's not only rude, it shows the person you're with that they don't matter.
9. "When you make me a promise, keep it. When you don't, I instantly start losing faith in you."
It might sound trite and old school, but a man is only as respected as his word. When he gives his word and then breaks it without pause, the consequences may not appear right away... but she is going to file it away. Too many broken promises result in a lack of faith.
8. "If you don't support what's important to me, I will resent you for it."
Successful relationships require a certain number of similarities and commonalities as a couple, but they also require individuality. Many times, that individuality will spark hobbies, interests, careers and ideas that may not be common to both people. Bottom line: You don't have to be personally interested in something to support your partner. So men, you don't have to love what she's doing... but she does want you interested because she's interested.
7. "When you say you're going to call, call... or don't say it."
Nothing worse than expectations not being met, especially when the expectations are set in advance. Guys: If plans have changed, a fast call or text is all she wants. But silence can be deafening... and with no call, her only options are to assume something or decide that she wasn't worth two minutes of your time to get in touch. Bottom line: A fast call is all she needs.
6. "I know you're not my ex. But when you act like him, I begin to question why I'm with you."
She might be holding on to her past relationships for a variety of reasons, and that's not his fault. However, being aware of past patterns and not playing into them can help both people get past bad things that have happened in prior relationships. So while it's not his responsibility, it's up to both people to communicate and not make assumptions based on their pasts... or automatically put a new relationship in the same universe as an old one,
5. "Why the hell are you staring at some random woman when I'm right next to you?"
It's human nature to look at other people you find attractive. Being in a relationship means you are committed, not dead. However, when you are ogling someone of the opposite sex and your significant other is right there, it's not only rude... it's a glaring red flag that you don't respect your partner. As such: Looking is normal... visually fondling someone isn't. And when your partner is around, keep your attention where it should be: on them.
4. "What happened to the guy I met?"
As relationships progress and grow, things shift. And with cohabitation, the mystery can get lost—or disappear entirely. What's she looking for? The guy who shaved on the weekends. The guy who put in the effort to seduce her, woo her... surprise her. She wants spontaneity, effort, and him to show her she matters... not just tell her.
3. "Yes, I do think about sex. But I need more than 'Hey, Babe... how about a little?' to get me in the mood."
Why is foreplay so important to her? Because it's the anticipation she wants, not just the act itself. It's the journey that counts... not just the destination. And for most, foreplay begins way outside the bedroom. A seductive text sent at 3:30pm can set the mood for later that night. In essence, she wants to be desired. She wants to know that he's thinking about things... and she wants him to tell her.
2. "Don't cheat on me. Just leave."
Betrayal is more than damaging to the relationship. It ends up a fatal blow to their self-esteem. They start thinking things like "Why wasn't I worth it?" "Am I just not good enough?" and the ever-popular "What did I do wrong?" If you aren't into them anymore, give them the common courtesy and respect of leaving before you start a new chapter of your life... that way everyone can move on with their dignity intact.
1. "Don't lie to me about anything big or small... ever."
One lie will have a woman questioning everything a man has ever told her... and anything he says in the future. Faith can be funny that way, and once rattled it's very difficult to get back.
Charles J. Orlandois relationship expert and author of the bestselling book series “The Problem with Women… is Men®.” Find out more about Charles on hiswebsite, or visit him onFacebookfor real-world love advice.