What’s the newest trend in the fashion world? Not peplums or crop tops, but New Balance sneakers and Adidas track pants, according to New York Magazine. Bushwick’s hipsters are trying to blend in with tourists from Fargo with self-consciously “normal” clothes, but you may already be ahead of the curve. Have you been hitting up the latest trend of “stylized blandness”? Are your style icons sitcom-era Jerry Seinfeld or the late Steve Jobs?
Scan our checklist below and see if you wear two or more of the following items on the reg, in public, with no abandon or shame. If so, congratulations: You are one in 7 billion.
1. Sneakers: We’re not talking about hip Air Force Ones or Air Jordans, and we’re definitely not talking about Michelle Obama’s Lanvin sneakers. We mean bulky New Balance or Asics sneakers. Puffy white sneakers like Jerry Seinfeld’s are the icing on the cake.
2. Medium or light wash jeans: Jorts for men also fall into this category. You shun indigo wash skinny jeans in lieu of medium or light wash jeans that let you breathe. Bonus points if they are made by Wrangler or Lee’s.
3. Tevas, Birkenstocks or Crocs: Do you wear these shoes in public? Are they your real shoes that you sport to work or even better, to the bar? If so, you are definitely normcore. This also applies to people who wear Adidas or Nike slide sandals. If you’re truly normcore, you also wear socks with all of these shoes.
4. North Face or Patagonia fleece: Forget belted trenches or English countryside field jackets. You’ll wear your North Face fleece and wear it proudly, goddammit, day and night. Is your fleece unbranded? Congratulations: You are even more normcore than the most normcore devotees.
5. Free T-shirts: Williams College Hoops for a Cure. Seth’s Rockin’ Bar Mitzvah 2001. Stone Cold Steve Austin. OK, the last one’s not free, but it’s pretty normcore.
6. Track pants and sweatpants: Do you have Adidas track pants? Do you wear genie sweatpants or even just regular sweatpants, and not just when you’re doing laundry? If so, you may just be normcore.
Automatic normcore disqualifiers: If your “mom jeans” are from Acne or your baggy flannel shirt is from Band of Outsiders, sorry – you are not normcore.
Don’t forget to top off your normcore staples with ill-fitting baseball caps and thick tube socks.
Follow Andrea Park on Twitter: @andreapark