I day dream about a lot of things— Trump not being president, Michael Fassbender noticing me in a crowd full of people, being able to order a pizza at 9 a.m. But the thing I dream about the most is Chris Brown just straight up disappearing. There’s no person that I want to just go away as much as Chris Brown.
The noted horrible dude and I guess, singer, clapped back at Aziz Ansari via Instagram on Monday. The “Master of None” star mentioned Chris Brown during his opening monologue on last week’s “Saturday Night Live,” likening supporters of Donald Trump to Chris Brown fans. He explained that fans remain steadfast in their loyalty, even if they “don’t condone the [individual’s] extracurriculars,”reports Jezebel.
In response Brown, as he is wont to do, went ham. In a super duper racist Instagram post, Brown wrote: “F—K NO!!!!!! Somebody tell ALADDIN HOP OFF MY D–K!” Nobody really knows why he did this, but I’m guessing it’s just the standard internal terribleness Brown struggles with on a day-to-day basis.
Also, let’s be clear. It is super racist to call Ansari “Aladdin.” But also? Aladdin was really fine. Sure he was a liar, sure he was a street rat, but have you ever seen any other man rock a purple vest with nothing underneath? I don’t think so. So my new working theory is that Chris Brown was trying to compliment the comedian, but it came out all wrong and racist and horrible.
Better luck next time, my dude.