As an escort who has slept with about 1,000 women, Vin Armani knows how to satisfy a lady. But pleasing a woman in bed is only part of it. Armani, the star of Showtime’s “Gigolos” and founder of Companion Concierge, a service that links escorts with clients, says men have a lot to learn when it comes to understanding the mating game. Read on for insight from a dude who’s been there before (many times).
Forget your ideal
Don’t make a checklist of qualities your perfect girl must have — that’s a setup for failure. “This person sitting across from you, you judge them against that ideal who you’ve never met,” he says. In doing so, “you miss out on just seeing this person for who they are.” When people are seen as who they are, the relationship can really blossom: “They open up and they want to give of themselves because it’s so rare.”
The time and place don’t matter
You don’t need to book a table at the hottest restaurant in town to woo your date. “I learned a long time ago just, like, pick a bar that’s comfortable, where you can talk, sit down and just be vulnerable,” Armani says. “Listen to her, let her listen to you, find out who each other are and make a connection. You’re looking for a connection.”
Don’t sweat the small stuff
“I think so many people, when they date, they’re so concerned about making everything go right.” But you can’t fight reality — embarrassing moments will happen. Remember, nobody’s perfect. “I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and then laugh it off,” Armani says.
Remember that it’s not all about sex
If you go in aggressively with the attitude of “I need to sleep with her,” you probably won’t. Instead, be the guy she wants to sleep with. “A woman is rooting for a guy,” Armani says. “There’s no woman going out with a guy and being like, ‘Man, I hope he’s terrible.’” Dating doesn’t have to be “an adversarial situation,” he adds. “You can be on the same team from the start.”
But if you’re just looking to fool around, be honest early on
Armani tells his dates the first time they go out that he’s not monogamous. “I would say, ‘Listen, I just want to let you know, before we go any further, I like you, I would love to have a relationship with you, but you’re not the only woman that I’m gonna sleep with, and if that’s a dealbreaker for you we don’t have to see each other anymore.’” Though it’s a bold approach, he’s found that women are OK with it: “I have never had a woman say that’s a dealbreaker for me — ever,” he says.