When 25-year-old Lauren Urasek created her OKCupid profile last year, she really didn’t think too hard about it. “I just wrote what seemed natural to me, uploading some photos from my Instagram and that was it,” she tells us.
But in a matter of months, she became the dating site’s most messaged female, getting an average of 35 messages a day and more than 15,000 4 or 5 star ratings in just a few months. As you can imagine, she’s been on a lot of dates, many of which she spills about in her new book “Popular.” Here, Urasek tells us how to get your profile more views and once the messages are rolling in, how to have a successful dating life without burning out.
Urasek’s tips on giving your profile a boost:
Focus on the photos.“A lot of it is just about having a good variety of clear, current pictures that are a variety of shots of your face and also full-length shots,” she says, adding that she would lead with a stellar face photo.
Show your weird side.“My profile was so random. I said I liked down comforters and swimming in the ocean,” Urasek says. “Don’t say you’re outgoing or like to travel because the last five people just wrote that.”
Don’t be afraid to message first.If you’re a female, there can still be an urge to hold back messaging a guy, wanting him to pursue you instead. Urasek says to get over it. “A lot of guys now don’t want to be seen of as a creep,” she says. “Also, just like anyone else, a lot of guys are intimidated and don’t want to be rejected. Whenever I’ve asked guys out they always say they love it because most girls won’t do it.”
Here’s how to avoid dating fatigue:
1. Limit the amount of dates you go on
Even at her most active, Urasek says she was only going on two dates a week — max. She also has another reason as to why single guys and girls shouldn’t overschedule themselves with dates:
“When you’re going out with multiple people, you end up not spending enough time with one person and getting to know him or her better because after your date, you’re already thinking about the next person you’re going to go out with,” she says. “Scheduling more dates becomes a pattern.” Her advice: scale it down and give each person a valid shot before setting up a date with someone new.
2. Make the dates convenient for you
Urasek says when she first started online dating, she would go out of her way to meet her dates at a place that was easy for him, or somewhere in the middle. Not anymore.
“The best first date spot for me is a bar close to my apartment. It’s not really about the place. It’s about how convenient it is for you in case they suck,” she says. No matter how great someone seems online, the first date is always a wild card. Make it easy on yourself.
3. Keep yourself busy with other things
One of the most draining parts of dating is having the same conversation over and over again. Where are you from? What do you do? Urasek says the way around this is by having enough going on in your life that you have other things to talk about. And then, bonus, then you don’t care as much about your dates anyway. “When you’re happy being by yourself and keeping busy, dating isn’t a priority anyway,” she says.
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