Alright, made-up-holiday enthusiasts, Oct. 31 is just around the corner, and while some of us like to plan elaborate costume concepts months ahead of time, I’m sure plenty of you are still scrambling to figure out what to wear come Halloween night. Before you spent $50 on a lame store-bought pirate costume (oh, look, another Capt. Jack Sparrow), you might want to consider what you’re trying to achieve on the most spooktacular night of the year. Whether you’re going for scary, sexy or something else entirely, here are a few do-it-yourself costume ideas with various outcomes.
Objective: Upstage all your friends in an inappropriate fashion.
Costume: Pippa Middleton (bridal edition).
What you’ll need: Body-hugging white dress, fake British accent, show-stealing caboose.
Objective: When it comes to Halloween, you want people to know that you’re totally over it.
Costume: Brooklyn hipster.
What you’ll need: Plaid shirt, ironic mustache, Moleskine notebook filled with passages from your favourite posts on Thought Catalog. Remember to keep your “I’m so bored” face on for the entire night.
Objective: Finish all of that leftover self-tanner you’ve been meaning to throw out.
Costume: Lindsay Lohan mug shots through the ages.
What you’ll need: Three friends, blond wigs, orange jumpsuits. Don’t forget to practise your parole-breaking smirks beforehand.
Objective: You’re not exactly sure what swooning looks like but you want to find out.
Costume: Ryan Gosling in Drive.
What you’ll need: Satin scorpion jacket, driving gloves, smouldering good looks. If you can pull this off, call me.
Objective: Inspire others to question whether it’s “too soon” for your costume.
Costume: Steve Jobs.
What you’ll need: Black turtleneck, jeans, iPad, questionable sense of timing.
Objective: Accumulate enough mini-Snickers bars to last you until mid-December.
Costume: Good-natured parent.
What you’ll need: Comfortable walking shoes, flashlight, pillowcase, borrowed child willing to share the goods (this might be hard to find).
Objective: You want fellow partygoers to roll their eyes and call you a tool.
Costume: Charlie Sheen.
What you’ll need: Bowling shirt, fedora, vials of #tigerblood, a couple of blond women willing to act as your “goddesses” for the evening (even harder to find than the aforementioned candy-sharing child).