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Brad Pitt says he has no secrets, is probably lying

This is all a ploy, right?

Brad Pitt talked to Associated Press about his swollen ego — their words, not mine — and honestly, William Bradley? I see what you’re doing and I tire of your ways.

In support of “War Machine,” the 53-year-old commits to being an open book for the second time this month, which maybe is too soon. “Hubris is a trap, and it’s the trap of every great nation that has been number one for too long.” Um, OK. What are you talking about, my dude? “You start believing your own stink. Anytime I’ve gotten in trouble, it’s because of my own hubris.” Damn, must be hard to be a cis white male burdened with privilege.

When asked why he was being so damn open, Pitt said that’s just how he does now, man. “I”ve got no secrets. I’ve got nothing to hide,” he said. “We’re human and I find the human condition very interesting. If we’re not talking about it, then we’re not getting better.” Oh dear. He’s really giving me MFA in Fiction vibes and I hate it!

“I’m not suicidal or anything,” he continues, laughing. Probably like an unhinged person. “There’s still much beauty in the world and a lot of love. And a lot of love to be given. It’s all right. It’s just life.” Wait, should we be worried?

If you recall, the man that made “Troy” slightly enjoyable opened up to GQ Style earlier this month about getting sober after splitting from Angelina Jolie, and his newfound love for Frank Ocean. “You know, I just started therapy. I love it, I love it... [And] I just got into R&B for the first time. R&B comes from great pain, but it’s a celebration… I’ve been listening to a lot of Frank Ocean. I find this young man so special. Talk about getting to the raw truth.” Beep beep, hot old hipster actor man coming through.

Just teasin’, William Bradley. You know I’m here for you. I just know your PR people are behind this so I don’t love it as much as I would if I thought it was your idea.

Anyway, “War Machine” comes out on Netflix May 26, and hopefully Pitt strategically baring his soul gets him the viewers he wants. 

 
 
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