Chris Pratt Guardians of the Galaxy European Gala
Chris Pratt. Photo: Getty Images

Chris Pratt knows you love him, but he will not consent to taking a photograph with you. And you’re just going to have to deal with it.

 

In an interview with “Cigar Aficionado” — WHY?! — the “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” star reveals that he just wants to be a mega celebrity that lives a normal life. “I’ve always been a pretty deferential, go-with-the-flow guy. But now I have to be economical with my time. If I go out and want to do normal things, I have to be comfortable disappointing people. So I just don’t take pictures with people. Because that’s not about enjoying the moment; it’s about stealing the moment to brag about later.” Um, okay!

 

“What I really miss is sitting down and talking to strangers who don’t know me, so we can discover each other,” he continues. “I’d say the majority of people I meet have an idea about me before they meet me. There’s something nice to being able to surprise somebody.” I guess being rich and famous is just a dang burden, huh?

 

I mean, I like Pratt. I really do. But sometimes, when he opens his mouth, I just want to gently place my finger over his seemingly well moisturized lips and say “Shhhh, just be pretty and charming and stick to your PR lady’s talking points.”

 

Since Pratt, like Emma Watson before him, won’t take a picture with me — which is fine, I definitely don’t want a picture with either of them anyway, probably! — here’s a short list of people and or things I’d rather feature on my Instagram story.

Michael Fassbender — he’s hot, he’s Irish, he acts good.

The hunchback of Notre Dame from the Disney movie, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

A pile of patchouli tainted, tobacco stained scarves that formerly belonged to Johnny Depp — the man knows his scarves, okay!?

So yeah, Pratt. It’s cool. I will survive.