George Clooney Pontificates
I spy with my little eye ...George Clooney pontificating. Photo: Getty

George Clooney is a charming, well beloved American actor. He has a wife, Amal Clooney, who is truly a boss bae and two normally named children, Alexander and Ella.


Somehow, these things put together qualify him to pen a well-intentioned prayer for America for the Daily Beast. Which he has done, for some reason. Here's what he wrote, verbatim. 


“I pray for my country.


I pray that we can find more that unites us than divides us.


I pray that our nation’s leaders want to do the same.


I pray that young children like Tamir Rice can feel safe in their own neighborhood.

I pray for all of our children.

I pray for our police and our first responders.

I pray for our men and women of the armed services.

I pray that dissent will always be protected in this great country.

I pray for a more perfect union.

And when I pray, I kneel.”

In the words of me — when I am screaming directly into my Twitter feed — prayers ain’t gonna help America. Reform might. A late sequel to “Josie & The Pussycats” starring Rachael Leigh Cook might. But probs not prayers from an A-list celebrity.

I mean, thanks for the good vibes, my dude. But prayers aren’t going to solve police brutality or like, racism. So uh, better luck next time.