Who bit Beyoncé? Now we’ll never know thanks to an NDA

We know you all are dying to catch the Queen B-biting culprit — because who on Earth would bite Beyoncé? As Chrissy Teigen said on TODAY, “This is like the modern day ‘Who shot J.R.?'” (He’s a character from the 1980s soap opera “Dallas.”)

As we previously wrote, people had their guesses for which actress (reportedly on drugs at the time) did the unspeakable deed at a party in December: Sanaa Lathan, Lena Dunham, Sara Foster and Jennifer Lawrence.

Y’all are funny. Under no circumstances did I bite Beyonce and if I did it would’ve been a love bite ?
— Sanaa Lathan (@justsanaa) March 26, 2018

So are we going to find out who bit Beyoncé?

Page Six reported this morning that, after refusing to spill the beans about who bit Beyoncé, actress/comedian Tiffany Haddish actually can’t dish any deets even if she wanted to. It’s in writing.

“I’m going to tell you who bit Beyoncé,” Haddish said during an Instagram Live, “It was Stormy Daniels.” (Good one!)

Then she proceeded to state, “Pay attention to what’s really going on! That’s not real news — who bit Beyoncé is not real news!”

“NDAs are real y’all,” Haddish said. “NDAs are real. So, I’m not saying sh-t about nothing.”

A source close to Beyoncé told US Weekly, “She thinks it’s sweet people are so concerned, but also doesn’t want to make life hard for the person that did it.”

Earlier this month, Haddish tweeted that she’d sign an NDA “any day” for Beyoncé, referencing the line in “Top Off” where Queen B raps, “If they’re tryna party with the queen/ They gon’ have to sign a non-disclosure.”

I Love Beyonce part! Everything she said rang so real to me. Just know I will sign A NDA any day For Beyoncé. DJ Khaled – Top Off (Ft. JAY Z, Future & Beyonce) https://t.co/9Ing2kNq14 via @YouTube

— Tiffany Haddish (@TiffanyHaddish) March 2, 2018