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Heidi and Spencer are procreating, save us all

What did we do to deserve this?

Yesterday, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt announced that they’re pregnant and expecting a real-life child. And today, they’re talking more about their new life change. What they say will not shock you, so much as confirm your worst fears of these two as parents.

On finding out that Montag was pregnant with his spawn: “She was literally glowing. I thought she was about to say she made muffins or banana bread.” I guess all glows are created equal.

But how does he really feel about banana bread? “Heidi said, ‘I’m pregnant,’” continues Pratt. “I was like, ‘Whoa, that’s way more exciting than banana bread!’" Is it?

Just how far is the "Hills" superivillain willing to go as far as pampering his pregnant wife? “I’m doing the dishes!”  

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How are pregnancy cravings affecting the perpetual man child?  You know, even though he's not the one carrying the baby or anything. “I’ve never eaten more junk food in my life!”

Wow, and here I thought Jenna Dewan Tatum and Channing Tatum were marginally #romancegoals. I can admit when I’m wrong, though.

The couple lives in Pratt’s parent’s beach house, since blowing all of their money on strippers and blow. Just kidding! They wasted all their money on their obsession with healing crystals (relatable) and attempting to kickstart Heidi’s music career (unrelatable). Congratulations or whatever! 

 
 
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