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Orlando Bloom would like to talk about those pictures of his junk

It's basically all he wants to talk about, to be honest.

Nobody is paying Orlando Bloom attention anymore. At least, not since his break up with Katy Perry. So he’s finally opening up about a significant time in his life that changed the very core of his perspective: that time he got caught paddleboarding with his junk out with Katy Perry by his side.

In an exclusive interview with Elle UK, the perpetual man child is so eager to talk about the experience that the first thing he utters from his mouth is, “ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY PENIS?” Yes. He spoke in all caps.

The 40-year-old continues to show off his capacity for finite critical thinking when the interviewer asks him whether a female star would have been met with the same sort of ambivalence over said exposure. His answer will not shock you!  “I didn’t take it that deep, darlin’,” he says, with no hint of irony, because maybe he doesn’t know what irony is. “What can I tell you? Note to self: you’re never free.” Good thing we don’t love actors because they’re deep, or anything!

Bloom is best known as an actor who hit his peak in films such as 2001’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring,” and 2003’s “Pirates of the Carribbean.”

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