Kylie Jenner, a so-called human woman who moonlights as a flourescent wig monger, has a new show coming out on E! Because, as I keep telling you guys, the apocalypse is nigh and nothing matters anymore. Now, the trailer for “Life of Kylie” has been released, and it’s just as terrifying as you think.
The so-called “docuseries,” which E! calls “highly anticipated” appears to be a mash up of horror and reality television. It's a real accomplishment, especially since those two things haven’t really been so seamlessly blended since “Blair Witch Project.”
In the trailer, Kylie tries something new: stringing cohesive words together into sentences. “This isn’t 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'. This is like a therapy session,” she says, petting one of her most treasured wigs. “There’s an image that I feel constantly pressured to keep up with and who I really am around my friends.” Kylie just wants you to know that she picks her nose too, just like other human women do (other human women pick their noses, right)!
“I do feel pressured to not let anybody down,” she continues. “I am not totally innocent because I am keeping up this lifestyle. I can’t do this forever.” Okay!
As she admits, the 19-year-old started filming “Keeping Up WIth The Kardashians” when she was only nine, so it kind of makes sense that she appears to be going through the motions of what it means to be a living humanoid on planet Earth.
The candid glimpses of her life seem overly scripted. It looks like it's the youngest Jenner's first time petting a wig, or getting out of a car, for example. I guess what I’m saying is that my theory is that Kylie Jenner is a alien creature inside the husk of a human and she’s trying to convince us otherwise. Frankly, I am of the opinion that she is doing a really poor job.
Can’t wait for your show, though!