Lea Thompson on "Dancing with the Stars" Credit: ABC/Rick Rowell "Dancing with the Stars" premieres Monday night at 8 on ABC.
Credit: ABC/Rick Rowell

 

It’s time for the latest group of C-list celebs to strut their stuff on “Dancing with the Stars.” But who will win? Who will be sent home early? We gave these vital questions a lot of thought so you wouldn’t have to in our guide to the stars of “Dancing with the Stars.”

 

 

Star: Jonathan Bennett
Claim to fame: The cute guy in “Mean Girls” who Lindsay Lohan pukes on
Chances: Bennett apparently just finished filming a Lifetime movie where he co-starred with “Glee”’s best dancer, Heather Morris, so maybe she gave him some tips. We think he’ll stick around for at least a few episodes. And we may or may not be setting our DVRs for that Lifetime movie.

 

Star: Tommy Chong
Claim to fame: Chong of Cheech and Chong, man
Chances: How do we put this? There are certain lifestyle habits that we suspect Mr. Chong of that may in some way inhibit his ability to, say, stay focused on the steps. On the other hand, Mr. Chong has had those habits for a long time, so chances are good he’s able to work with them. Plus, we kind of hope the rest of the cast engages in those lifestyle habits before an episode.

Star: Randy Couture
Claim to fame: Ultimate fighter, now attempting an acting career
Chances: Fighting involves some fancy footwork, right? We think Randy will be able to translate those skills, assuming he has some sense of rhythm. But it might be hard for him to work with a partner instead of against one.

Star: Betsey Johnson
Claim to fame: Fashion design
Chances: Betsey’s bio indicates she took dance lessons as a kid, so we think she’s probably got some moves. And for anyone thinking she’s too old to win, keep in mind that the woman is famous for cartwheeling down the runway after her shows, so don’t count her out too quickly.

Star: Lolo Jones
Claim to fame: Competed in many Olympic events
Chances: Well, Jones at least shows a willingness for trying out new things – she switched from summer Olympics track events to competing at the Winter Olympics as a bobsledder. But she didn’t win at those Olympics either. Maybe this will be the event she finally wins?

Star: Bethany Mota
Claim to fame: YouTube star
Chances: Bethany is only 19! Just something to keep in mind about someone with 7 million YouTube followers. We think that popularity will help her stay on the show – all those fans have to turn into votes, right? And who knows, maybe when she’s off camera, she spends all her time dancing.

Star: Janel Parrish
Claim to fame: Villainous/heroic/villainous again Mona on “Pretty Little Liars”
Chances: We assume Janel is not quite as squirrely in real life as she is on the show, but we’re kind of hoping she plots against the other contestants to rise to the top, just like Mona would. She’s probably picked up some tactics in her years on the show, right?

Star: Alfonso Ribeiro
Claim to fame: It’s Carlton from “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!”
Chances: This compilation of all the times he danced on “Fresh Prince” has been viewed 7 and a half million times on YouTube. Carlton wasn’t exactly known for good dance moves, but his infectious enthusiasm certainly won a lot of people over. Our money is on Ribeiro to win the whole thing.

Star: Sadie Robertson
Claim to fame: She’s on “Duck Dynasty”
Chances: Sadie has written a book and is apparently a motivational speaker despite being only 17. With her full schedule, will she have time to focus on her dancing (and also high school, because she’s still in high school)?

Star: Antonio Sabato Jr.
Claim to fame: “General Hospital,” “Melrose Place”
Chances: Hard to say. Sabato Jr. seems like he’ll be one of those contestants who either fades quickly into the background or manages to surprise people with a lot of charm and pizzazz. We’ll give him 50/50 odds for reminding people why they liked him back in the ‘90s.

Star: Tavis Smiley
Claim to fame: Serious journalist type, hosted two presidential debates
Chances: Smiley has many honorary doctorates for his work discussing racial issues, but we’re not sure any of those will help him on the dance floor. We like the idea of an NPR host getting a little goofy, though.

Star: Lea Thompson
Claim to fame: “Caroline in the City,” “Back to the Future”
Chances: Thompson has a cute cameo in the pilot for “A to Z,” so we think there’s some built up goodwill for her amongst big “Back to the Future” fans. And hey, didn’t a big part of “BTTF” take place on the dance floor?

Star: Michael Waltrip
Claim to fame: NASCAR driver, won the Daytona 500
Chances: Now that he’s semi-retired from racing, he runs marathons. Clearly, Waltrip has a competitive side, which always helps on something like this. Maybe that drive (see what we did there) will help him master a new set of skills.