Dear, users of the Internet: You are dumb. This weekend you thought Hillary Clinton has a double. Now you think Kurt Cobain is alive and well and living in Peru — as a Kurt Cobain impersonator.
In a new, predictably awesome conspiracy theory — made semi-legitimate by reliably hysterical and epic headline-writing British tabloid Daily Mail — it’s claimed that Cobain faked his death, hopped down to Peru and is now living a happy life as Ramiro Saavedra, a man who looks nothing like Cobain, is right-handed, not left-, and, oh, is 32 years old. That means Cobain, who took his life in 1994 at the age of 27, has managed to only age 5 years, and also look Peruvian.
This is far from the first Cobain conspiracy theory; remember that time documentarian Nick Broomfield made a movie that explored whether Courtney Love had her late husband murdered? This one, however, is weak sauce that should have never escaped the depths of Reddit. Instead it got big enough that Nirvana’s Facebook page had to write a sarcastic post addressing the issue:
"It is true, Kurt is alive. He needed time to learn to play the guitar with his right hand. Finding left-handed guitars is not easy. We are so happy to have him back and forgive him for all of the sadness that we have held so deeply in our hearts."
To theorists’ credit, Saavedra does sound a lot like him, as heard in a performance of “Come As You Are” dug up from 2012 (see below). And for the lunatics who have taken over the Internet and made it a miserable place to hang, perhaps that’s enough.